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March 2008
For the love of Kansas
Finally!
Kansas finally makes it back to the Final Four.
Rock Chalk Jayhawk.
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When it rains …
What a weekend it was in the ol’ Husband household.
It began Friday night when Kelley made the decision it was time to put her cat of nearly 15 years down.
Sunday evening, our dog, Buddy, was chasing a cat and somehow hit something that resulted in a serious gash on his leg just above the knee. Buddy was limping and bleeding pretty bad. Without a thought, I loaded Buddy into my car and hightailed it to the pet hospital, leaving my wife and groceries in the driveway.
At the pet hospital, Buddy needed seven stitches and a whole lot of meds. In the end, Buddy’s cat-chasing ordeal ended up costing us $262 and some change. And as a result of his wound, he now has to wear a C-collar, which is a cone-shaped device to prevent him from licking his injury. So this is what Buddy will look like for the next week or so.
“Ah, Daddy … the neck thing? Not so much!”
Monday morning, we put Kitty down. As day turned to night, we were both talking about how we wanted the day to hurry up and end so we could wake up in the morning to a fresh start.
Ah, but the night was still young for more tribulations.
Our sprinkler system isn’t turned on yet, and since we recently had major work done to our yard, I needed to get some water on it. After watering the back yard from the house faucet, I couldn’t get it to completely shut off. As I’m turning the knob, it stripped and an entire piece of pipe came out of the side of the house.
“Of course,” I thought to myself. “Why wouldn’t this break? The day from hell isn’t over yet.”
So, we called a plumbing service at 8 p.m. and by 10 p.m. and nearly $500 later, all was fixed. And because of this, we weren’t able to finish Into the Wild or watch CSI Miami without distractions.
Monday was the prime definition of when it rains, it pours.
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Me vs. Scumbag Solicitor
So my wife and I recently decided to get the “triple package” from Bresnan - the phone, Internet and digital cable for $99.00 a month.
An advertisement for this deal is on every channel at all hours of the day. It’s almost like those annoying car salesmen who prey on perspective buyers. Since we already had the Internet and partial cable, we decided to up the ante and get a house phone, too.
It’s been so long since I had a house phone I had forgotten the biggest problems of having one - phone solicitors. I assumed these scumbags fell off the face of the earth into continuous bottomless fall.
So far, our house phone has been a nightmare because of the nonstop calls from people wanting to sell us life insurance, home owners insurance, credit cards, better discounts on contacts, medicine and even health insurance.
But the one that takes the cake, which also is the one that makes me want to pour cement into my ears, is the call which begins with a recording similar to this:
“Hello, we have been trying desperately to reach you regarding the policy on your car insurance. This is our last notice (note: every call is the last notice) for you to take advantage of this incredible offer.”
By the fourth time I got this call, I decided to let these people know how much I enjoy their phone calls every two hours.
Last night, while watching Gone Baby Gone, we got another call. Following the opening message above, this is what transpired:
Computerized message: “If you have already rejected this offer, please press two to permanently delete your account from our records.”
Pressing two doesn’t work; it just sends your number on down the line for the next scumbag.
Computer: “Press one to speak to one of our professional customer assistants so you can take advantage of this opportunity.”
I pressed one as my wife is telling me to calm down and be nice.
After five minutes of sickening elevator music, a person answers the phone:
Scumbag: “Hello, can I have the year and make of your car?”
Me: “2003 Ford Expedition.”
Scumbag: “What a nice choice for an automobile, sir. Now, can I have your name please?”
Me: “Anton Chigurh (I just finished watching No Country for Old Men).”
Scumbag: “OK Mr. Sugar, it looks like we can extend your coverage with us for just under $1,000 annually. How does that sound?”
Me: “I don’t have coverage with you, but I have a few questions of my own before I accept your incredible opportunity of a lifetime.”
Scumbag: OK, Mr. Sugar, what can I do for you.”
Me: “First of all, what is your name?”
Scumbag: “You can refer to me as Joe today.”
Me: “No, I think I’ll refer to you as scumbag. And its not today, its tonight, which means your interrupting my time with my family with this incredible opportunity of a lifetime.”
Scumbag: “Sir, I don’t appreciate you calling me names.”
Me: “I don’t give a bakers dozen.”
Scumbag: “Mr. Sugar, if you continue to be rude, I’m going to have to take this offer off the table.”
Me: “Did I fail to mention that I only pay $550 a year for full coverage on my car and have had the same insurance agent for the last six years and that he was a good friend of mine in high school and college and that he also provides car insurance and life insurance for me, my wife and my parents.”
Scumbag: “That sounds like a pretty good deal, Mr. Sugar. But, I don’t believe you because I think you’re just trying to annoy me.”
Me: “Now you know how I feel.”
Scumbag: “Mr. Sugar, I’m just….”
Me: “Hold it now Skippy. I’ve had enough of this. Have you ever seen the movie No Country for Old Men?”
Scumbag: “Yes, I have.”
Me: “And the fact I said my name was Anton Chigurh didn’t raise a red flag with you?”
Scumbag: “I found it odd.”
Me: “Do you find it odd that I have wasted my time tonight offering an alias while talking to a scumbag like you who won’t stop calling me?”
Scumbag: “Mr. Sugar, I’m going to disconnect this call now.”
Me: “Before you go, I have an opportunity of a lifetime for you.”
Scumbag: “What’s that, Mr. Sugar.”
Me: “You can take me off your calling list.”
Scumbag: “No problem.”
With that, he hung up on me. I guess he didn’t like to be bothered or have his time wasted.
So today, I logged onto the Colorado No Call List and this one for national calls. Hopefully this will take care of this problem.
Runaway carts and big trucks
Now that my job with Portrait is over and done with, its time to try and get back into a regular routine of posting my blog, and what better way to kick off my blog with a gripe about ignorance, big trucks parked in front of my house and my niece Ryeli.
Ignorace
I ran some errands for my wife Wednesday so she could be ready to fly to Texas for the weekend to play with her band, Riveter, in the annual South by Southwest Music Festival in Austin. My errands inlcuded going to Target to find her a bag she could carry around with her. I found Kelley the bag she wanted, but not before I fell victim to almost being plowed over by a runaway cart.
As I was walking through the store, a cart came flying out of one of the isles. I saw it out of the corner of my eye, jumped back as the cart careened into a rack of women’s clothes, knocking most of the items on the floor. As I looked down the isle, I saw two kids running in the oposite direction giving each other high fives along the way.
Seriously.
I understand kids will be kids, but could someone please explain to me what pleasure anyone would get out of a runaway cart in Target or was this simply a case of two board kids putting a new twist on bowling?
Big Trucks
We live in a small neighborhood on a small street. As of late, however, our neighborhood has been attacked by the Monster Trucks. As I pulled out of my driveway this morning and headed to work, I counted six giant trucks with tires the size of the new shed we’re having built in our backyard. These trucks were parked on the side of the road instead of the driveways, making the streets narrower than they already are.
As I was manuvered my Expedition through this maze of trucks I remember asking myslef “when did The Fall Guy convention came to town?”
Big trucks went out when this show was cancelled.
This is beyond agravating and I wish the people driving these oversized trucks would realize there are other people have to suffer when looking out the window only to see a truck the size of a mountain.
My Niece Ryeli
My older sister, Susan, and her daughter Ryeli recently moved back to Grand Junction. Rylei is a fun-loving, smart 5-year-old girl with a quick reply to everything that comes out of Uncle Benny’s mouth.
For instance, as I was giving her some milk yesterday, I said to her:
“Here you go whipper snapper.”
She replied by saying:
“Ah, the name is Ryeli.”
I was jacked by my 5-year-old niece.
Rockin’ with Riveter
If you don’t have any plans Saturday night (March 8) here’s your chance to make them.
Live from Quincy’s is Grand Junction’s own Riveter - an all-female fronted band. The show begins at 10 p.m. and will go into the early hours of the morning. The way these shows have been packed in the past, this show may last all week.
The following week, Riveter will travel to Austin, Texas for a second-straight year as part of the Invasion of the GoGirls music fest during the famous South by Southwest Music Festival (March 15). The gig at Quincy’s will be a “help send the band back to Austin” celebration show.
If you haven’t seen Riveter play, you should treat yourself to such a performance. My wife, Kelley, Robin, Laurena and Scott make up this great band. Kelley is the lead singer and plays guitar. To be around her all of the time and then seen her transform on stage into a butt-kicking rocker is amazing. If you have any desire whatsoever to play the guitar then come watch Robin play. In the simplest of terms describing the way she rips the guitar - remarkable. Laurena plays her popular heart-shaped bass and Scott, who could play any instrument under the sun and make it look easy, is on the skins.
Kelley and Robin
Laurena and Kelley
This band, which is endorsed by Daisy Rock Guitars, has been around a long time now and has played numerous shows in the Grand Valley and Denver. While the band’s popularity continues to grow, two things continue to stay the same — having fun and kicking butt on stage.
So come on out Saturday night to see a great show and help send Riveter back to Austin. If for some reason you need more details on the show, you can call me and I will make sure you get any information you need to come help support the band.
See you Saturday night!
