Home > Haute Mamas > Archives > 2008 > May > 15 > Entry
Channeling My Inner Indiana Jones
It was starting to turn dark and the sky threatened rain. I only had one Clif Bar in my backpack and I searched for it as vultures circled overhead.
“How much further do you think we have to go?” I asked Dan, trying really hard to keep the quivery sound out of my voice.
“I don’t know. I’ve never been on this trail before and it looked a lot shorter on Google Earth.”
Great. My life depends on some fuzzy satellite image probably several decades old by now.
It all started on the Road of Wreckage which leads out of Glade Park and across the top of someplace, which ends up at the trailhead where our journey was to begin. The plan was to hike down into Rattlesnake Canyon, aka Canyon of Doom, out to the Colorado River and then meet up with Dan’s son on the raft for a two day and night trip on the river.
Road continues in the middle of the photo and off to far right.
Dan was driving my CR-V over some pretty large boulders, barely missing the tree trunks and branches hanging over the “road”. We bumped, jostled, jerked and turned for miles and miles and just before I was ready to lose the lunch I didn’t have time to eat, we finally arrived at Rattlesnake Arches trailhead.
I’ll skip the part where Dan thought there was a way down to the river that didn’t involve following any actual marked trail, and we hiked two or three miles looking for it before he finally agreed it didn’t exist. We had a pleasant enough hike back to the actual marked trail and for the next mile or so, we thoroughly enjoyed being outdoors surrounded by wildflowers of every color that were truly stunning.
“I know that trail is around here somewhere.”
We never did see the actual arches because we turned off the main trail onto the Trail Of Death (TOD) where we began our descent into the Canyon of Doom. The TOD was supposed to be about two or three miles, according to Google Earth, so I was looking forward to it and ready to go, even after putting in my 3.5 mile run earlier that day.
Suffice it to say, that the TOD was the scariest damn trail I’ve ever been on. All scree, and one of those deals where you looked out ahead and saw a cairn and figured you were the victim of some practical joke. I inched my way sideways down the scree while my knees screamed at me in pain and just kept repeating to myself, “Don’t get hurt, just don’t get hurt. If you get hurt, it’s really gonna hurt. Oh god, what if Dan gets hurt? Then I’m really screwed.”
I had my ever-present pedometer strapped on me and when I reached a point where I could stop and check, I saw we had gone about five miles, (not counting the two or three we spent looking for the trail that wasn’t there) and the Canyon of Doom was nowhere in sight.
Do you see anything that looks like a trail?
Flash back —- “How much further do you think we have to go?” I asked Dan, trying really hard to keep the quivery sound out of my voice.
“I don’t know. I’ve never been on this trail before and it looked a lot shorter on Google Earth.”
I sat on a rock and burst into tears. I was tired, I was scared, I was hungry, and I would have been pissed except that Dan really felt bad. I blew my nose into a Kleenex (hey - who goes hiking without Kleenex?) and started to dig a hole in the dirt to bury it, thinking it’s just one Kleenex and it was so full of snot it was already disintegrating.
“Don’t throw that on the ground!” Dan admonished. “Give it to me.” I handed it over and he stuffed it in his pocket. Now that’s true love.
After another half-hour on the TOD we finally reached the bottom and entered Rattlesnake Canyon, aka the Canyon of Doom (COD). I’m sure if I had stopped to look up, I would have realized that this is a beautiful canyon. I was focused on the fact that some parts were narrow enough that I could reach both sides when I stretched out my arms. I thought if it started to rain, we would drown since there was no way back up. To make it even creepier, the tree frogs and crickets or some kind of creatures started chirping and making weird noises and I felt like Harry Potter at Hogwarts.
Dan, on the other hand was having a great time. He obviously has never seen a Harry Potter movie. As I struggled over large rocks, waded through the mucky stream, and endured a gajillion scratches on my legs from the brush he said to me, ”Baby, I love doing this so much and the fact that you’re here with me makes it even more special.”
“You know what? Don’t talk to me right now. I’m not mad at you but just for the record, if you ever think I’d enjoy something like this, you should know I won’t. The only reason I’m not mad is because I believe if you knew it was like this, you never would have suggested it. So just please don’t talk to me right now,” I lovingly replied.
We hiked on, in silence, and finally made it through the last twist in the canyon and Dan yodeled out towards the river. Eureka! He got a yodel back and I burst into tears knowing that an ice cold dirty martini was waiting for me in the cooler on the back of the raft!
Finally, light and booze at the end of the tunnel!
After a torrential downpour that same evening (I was snug in my tent when it started and never felt a drop) we actually had a great time the next two days on the river. Which, by the way, is flowing really fast. The final float from Black Rocks to Westwater is about eight miles or so and only took one beer.
But the story doesn’t end there. I still had to get my car back from the top of wherever it was we left it. And since Dan had to drive us back there to get it, that meant I had to drive on the Road of Wreckage by myself. Hell! If you recall, I can’t even drive out of my subdivision without crashing!
To be continued … .
Permalink | Comments (7) | Post your comment | Categories: Lynn
Comments
By Robin
May 15, 2008 8:49 AM | Link to this
You are so very brave. I enjoy the outdoors, camping and boating, but not being 100 percent sure where I was would freak me out. Sounds like it turned into a fun adventure, though.
By chris
May 15, 2008 8:52 AM | Link to this
this is an awesome story, Lynn! ALL of it! i can certainly understand your frustration during your adventure, but it does indeed sound like you had fun. thanks, for the great pictures, too! i hope that you plan on using your backpack more often and will include more updates of your newly found adventuress spirit in future postings!
By Richie Ann
May 15, 2008 9:37 AM | Link to this
Girl, I’ve been there done that! Except we weren’t smart enough to have a boat waiting (Dan’s a smart guy!) and we had to hike back up that damn canyon. At least you didn’t have to use your pants as a rope to get down. That trail is rough and at one point I remember having to walk this itty bitty catwalk through a half arch and it scared me to death. Looking back, it is probably the most memorable hike I’ve ever taken but needless to say I have never ever been back to that trail since.
By Julie
May 15, 2008 9:44 AM | Link to this
I love that last picture of you where you look like you want to take the camera and beat Dan over the head with it!
By evander
May 15, 2008 4:15 PM | Link to this
I am famous!! good story but it seems a little more dramatic several days later.
By LAD
May 18, 2008 12:19 AM | Link to this
Lynn you are definitely one haute mama. Good pictures and great stories. It seems though that your Dan needs a little more training.
By LAD
May 18, 2008 12:21 AM | Link to this
Lynn you are definitely one haute mama. Good pictures and great stories. It seems though that your Dan needs a little more training.