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December 2005
The Tango: Maureen
A review of “Are Men Necessary? When sexes collide” by Maureen Dowd
This little New York Times columnist went to the meat market … and came home fuming.
I took the jacket off because, well, the title is embarrassing. For Bitter Bettys, this is a true gem. But the dynamic between men and women fascinates me, however, so I read on.
I came to find, though, that it’s really only good when other people are talking. Maureen comes across as a base, male-bashing Bitter Betty.
She asks: “Do women get less desirable as they get more successful?”
Male source: “There’s no greater turn-on than to spar with a woman who can more than hold her own … ” says author Arthur Gelb in the book.
One of her male friends does say he finds smart women “draining at times,” but Dowd decided to continue as if her friend, not Gelb, was the status quo.
She concludes: “Women get penalized by insecure men for being too independent.”
Parts of the book are solid. Dowd interviews Helen Gurley Thomas, Cosmo’s founding editor, on the changing face of female sexuality in the media.
Yet Dowd has made up her mind that these changes are really about threatened men who want to keep women down, undermining them at every turn.
“Women are breaking male barriers, slowly, even in Hollywood, where actresses are often cast as girlfriends, wives, hookers or strippers.”
We’re supposed to be offended that women are cast as girlfriends and wives? Like, really?
It’s good to take in these sorts of viewpoints, if only to reject them completely. At least you, as someone dating in the Grand Valley, will have a jumping off point for who NOT to become.
Are men necessary? Heck yes. Maureen Dowd’s book, however, really isn’t.
Sarah can be reached at sprotzman@gjds.com.
Housework workout…Pleeeaaasse!
Just a comment on the article called Housework Workout in today’s paper…it sounds good in theory but it’s totally unpractical. It says you should do a few wall push-ups while you’re making toast or coffee in the morning. Any working woman will tell you that is the time we hunt for shoes, keys, the bills that need mailed, the grocery list, and on and on. There is no free time in the morning to do a few wall presses. And if the coffee isn’t done, there arent’ going to be any wall presses anyway.
A mini-ab workout on the way to work…like driving, applying lipstick, and talking on the cell phone aren’t enough of a distraction already.
Leg lifts while on the phone with a client: “Newsroom, this is Richie” (lift leg) “No, I’m sorry I don’t know what the weather is like in Danville, Kentucky” (lift other leg) “Yes we will consider (lower legs then lift both legs) publishing the weather in Kentucky (change height of legs and sip coffee) since your daughter lives there.” “Is that right…I’ve heard it’s really green there” (extend legs). “Okay I’ll pass your very helpful suggestion on…” (lower legs).
Not only would I look like an idiot lifting and extending my legs…I wouldn’t be able to devote my full attention to our customers.
And the lunges while you vacuum….come on….just get the housecleaning done so you can get out and do some real exercise in.
This kind of workout isn’t going to do anything. The only way to get in shape is to turn off the tube, put down the Doritos, and go for a walk.
Praised be pacemakers
He came on stronger than Cool Water cologne.
Living here in the lead-up to the election, he was working hard to shore up support for his political party. He was lonely, lacking a sense of place — and of pace.
That’s when he asked me out.
And political affiliations aside, it was, like, the worst date ever.
This young man took the words-per-minute cake, and I couldn’t have gotten a word in if I’d covered his mouth with “W’04â€? and “Kerry/Edwardsâ€? stickers.
We bantered about politics — emotions were high headed into the home stretch — while I wedged in a word here and there as he waited for the next time he could speak. He loved the sound of his own voice more than … oh, I don’t know … Bono?
And not only that, but within five minutes of my arrival, he said, “Are you sure you’re not looking for a relationship?�
“No,� I said, I’m really not. (Read: At least not with you, Chatty McChatterson.) “Dang!� he said. “I mean, er, OK.�
Sweet sassy molassy. Can I leave now?
After squirming through our date, I went into screening mode, cringing at his voice on my answering machine and failing to muster the guts to simply say, “Look, it ain’t gonna happen.�
Instead, I did the worst thing ever.
“Sorry, I’m just really busy,” I said. Puh-lease. I had just moved here. Save for my sweet, elderly neighbor, I had no friends.
Sometimes we’re just not that into you, guys. And that’s when we’ll make something up about why we have to leave. It’s sad, but there’s a lesson here: Pace.
I speak of the concept, not the picante sauce.
But sometimes we’re really, really into you, and that’s when we have to realize the same goes for us. Last week at the gym, I ran my fastest mile ever. It took time and patience to reach that point.
We’re only 20-something. Let’s pace ourselves.
Sarah can be reached at sprotzman@gjds.com.
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2005 is a wrap for me
I’ve finally advanced to a point in my career where I can take time off and no one knows I’m gone. So, at the end of business today — and for the first time since I joined the work world in 1989 — I’m taking off Christmas, New Year’s, and every day in between. It will be a week of family time.
I’ll be back the first week in January. After clearing out a week’s worth of e-mail, snail-mail and voice-mail, and catching up on whatever is most pressing, I’ll start addressing things like the At Work section of our annual Portrait editions and the specifics of 2005’s “Grand Valley Tracks 3” (which we’ll probably do, but some things will change).
Merry Christmas, everyone, and Happy New Year.
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Winter starts in an hour and a half
Our managing editor, Denny Herzog, likes to throw out weird challenges every now and then. A few minutes ago, he threw one out to Anna Beaty Kerr: The Winter Solstice is at 11:35 this morning, he said. Go out and get a story.
As she always does when presented with a problem, Anna managed an expression that involved both squinting and wide eyes, then the wheels in her head got rolling. She envisioned a lead paragraph that involved a bird chirping and a car going by, then…?
She’s headed out the door as I write this, with a “to do” list that includes getting her weekly Buzz video shot and finding a story about the solstice. I can’t wait to see what she comes back with.
Holiday Travel
And so it begins … I fly out of the tiny Grand Junction airport soon for the holidays, spending just about as much money on my ticket to visit family in the South as a ticket I bought last May for Spain. Nevermind I got the domestic ticket in October, after waiting two months so see if the ridiculously overpriced fare would go down. I guess Christmas this year will be my flight. I recently heard a tale of a flight to New York being cheaper from Eagle than from Denver. What is this world we live in called crazy? Anyone else have crazy holiday travel stories out there?
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How can rubber-suit monsters be boring?
In grade-school days, it wasn’t uncommon to find me staging battles between my Aurora models of Godzilla and King Kong. Posters of giant-monster movies decorated my walls and articles about those films were well-thumbed in my stack of Famous Monsters magazines. These were pre-VCR days in my house, so I had to arrange my schedule if I wanted to watch a kaiju movie on TV. I remember it being a big deal for my friends and me when “King Kong vs. Godzilla” was aired as an afternoon movie in 1976 or ‘77, when the first “King Kong” remake was in theaters.
Today, I’m firmly established in middle age and still get a kick out of Japan’s monster movies, which I occasionally rent or will tune into during a late-night showing on Sci-Fi. “Gamera 3” was interesting; “GMK” was better, with some terrific and occasionally scary visual moments. So I was quite interested in seeing “Godzilla: Final Wars”, which was finally released to American audiences on DVD this month. It has been billed as a monster-battle blowout, including the American version of Godzilla, Rodan, King Caesar, Gigan, King Ghidorah and more … particularly, of course, the classic fire-breathing, wide-hipped Big G himself. I put this film in our Netflix queue weeks ago and was happy when it showed up in our mailbox Saturday.
Sadly, aside from some moments here and there, the movie was a dud. It focused more on these X-Men-like mutant people and aliens in a plot I suspect was made up as they went along. Not that plot usually matters in a Godzilla film and it wouldn’t have in this one either, if only the monsters were more involved. Instead we got some scenes with them early on and then they returned roughly two-thirds of the way through. The city-demolishing fights were short; the one in which the American Godzilla was dispatched in an explosion involving the Sydney Opera House lasted maybe a minute and the others weren’t much longer. Yawn.
I was also struck by an incredibly stereotyped (some might say racist) scene involving a fuzzy-suited pimp, wino and cop in New York City. It wouldn’t play well in most American theaters, which might be one reason this one didn’t get much big-screen exposure in the States.
Kaiju nuts will want to check this one out and it does have its moments (particularly seeing the redesigned Gigan), but overall this one’s a renter, not a buyer.
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Narnia and King Kong
I splurged (Movies are outrageously expensive!) and saw two of the holiday blockbusters on my recent vacation, Narnia and King Kong. I thought both were really good.
I had been looking forward to Narnia for a long time. I was a big fan in the 5th grade and somehow that childhood facination with the books has never left. I noticed most of the people in the audience were adults reliving a childhood favorite just like myself. I had thought of re-reading the book but decided against it. It disappoints me when movies deviate from the book.
I thought Narnia was great! I’d heard some bad reviews but I really enjoyed it. There were lots of details I had forgotten, like Turkish Delight and Father Christmas, so I enjoyed the movie like I was hearing the story for the first time.
I LOVED King Kong. I have never seen the movie but I had figured out it was about a big monkey and blond girl and NYC. That’s all I really knew which is probably good because I had nothing to compare it to.
I really liked the dinosaurs and the island. The action scenes were great. And the movie kept me on an emotional roller coaster, wanting the girl to escape the monkey, then wanting her to escape the dinosaurs and go with the monkey, then being grossed out by “Land of the Lost” sized bugs, then feeling so sad for them both in the end.
If you have to choose one I’d say King Kong is the best bet this season but Narnia is one not to be missed.
The man who gave us aliens
Fans of “The X-Files” and countless other sci-fi and conspiracy tales owe a lot to Walter Haut, who died Thursday, Dec. 15, at the age of 83, in Roswell, N.M.
Haut was an Army lieutenant and spokesman for the Roswell Army Air Field on July 8, 1947, and he’s the guy who issued the press release stating a flying saucer landed in Roswell. What follows is The Associated Press’ obituary:
(AP) — Army Lt. Walter Haut, the man made famous for issuing a news release that said a flying saucer landed in Roswell, died there Thursday, his daughter, Julie Shuster, said. He was 83.
Haut, a former spokesman for the Roswell Army Air Field, listened closely on July 8, 1947, as base commander Col. William Blanchard dictated a news release about a recovered flying saucer and ordered Haut to issue it.
The Roswell Daily Record newspaper ran a bold headline on July 9, 1947: “RAAF Captures Flying Saucer on Ranch in Roswell Region.”
The same day, a statement was released saying it was only a weather balloon. Haut said he never was told exactly where the flying disc reported in his news release was found nor did he ever see a UFO. But he remained a believer.
Haut and two other men founded The International UFO Museum, where more than 2 1/2 million people have visited since its opening in 1992, Shuster said.
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On dating in the Grand Valley
When my brother called me from the interstate somewhere between Colorado and Texas, I told him I was asked to write about dating in Grand Junction for the Out&About blog.
My brother is a brand new 21-year-old and a completely fun guy to be around. He’s also notorious for his deadpan humor.
“Well,� he said. “This means you’re either going to get tons of dates, or you’re going to get no dates.�
He’s right. And I better keep my ears open to what he and my male friends have to say, I thought, if this is going to work at all. You know, like, for the greater good and stuff.
Also, I better order some proper literature.
So yesterday I got an e-mail thanking me for my patronage on half.com, and letting me know my new books, “The Rules� and “He’s Just Not That Into You� would be arriving in seven to 10 days.
But then I heard my brother’s voice in my head.
He warned me against becoming one of those dating columnists who plays the victim, blaming men for every injustice in the dating world. “Nobody likes that,� he said.
I assured him I’m not that kind of girl. At all. But I do want to have fun, be safe and choose wisely. Men are great, women are great … but great relationships? Even better.
My vision for this column will be to open the floodgates for 20-somethings to talk about what it is to be dating in a burgeoning mountain town where everyone seems to already know each other.
The dating dynamic seems to be taking on a more-vague quality these days, but the age-old questions still stand: What if I just want to be friends with her? Do guys like that? Why didn’t she e-mail me back? How do I let him down easy? Can I call him?
Let’s figure it out together and have a few laughs about the inevitable faux pas while we’re at it.
Meanwhile, I’ve got some stories for the books. Tune in every Friday. And please feel free to use the comments feature to get things going or to offer ideas for this column!
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The Muse broken into
Got this e-mail from James Williams, owner of The Muse in Fruita, and figured I’d pass it along:
We were awoken by a disturbing phone call this morning. The Fruita police department were calling to let us know that sometime around 6:30 this morning someone threw a rock through our window, entered the store and stole two guitars.
The guitars that were taken were a white stratocaster copy (no name) and a purple/ blue acryllic see through five string bass. We are offering a $50 reward to anyone who can offer any information that leads to an arrest (not to mention a nice little christmas present from the store), If you can be of any assistance please call: Officer James Queen of the Fruita police department @ 970.858.3008 We promise to keep your identity concealed, we just need your help in bringing the thief/thieves to justice. Thank you for any help that you can offer!
Two “Nutcrackers”, one cover story
We don’t promise equal treatment to everyone in Out & About or anywhere else in The Daily Sentinel. It might seem unfair, but we don’t figure we owe each theater company in town the same coverage, nor do we offer that to every movie theater, every club, every restaurant…whatever. There’s no “big picture” measurement of who’s got what coming every day, week, month or year. Instead, we sit down when it’s time to budget the sections, look at what’s going on, and decide what we’re going to write about. What we pick as the most interesting thing as the Out & About cover story one week might be only a news brief another week.
Basically, it depends on what’s going on, and contrary to popular belief, we don’t consider who’s spending the most with our advertising department.
So it happens that this Friday’s issue, Dec. 16, highlights the Academy of Dance’s Saturday “Nutcracker” performances as its cover story, while the Broadway Elementary kids’ “Nutcracker” last week didn’t get as much attention. No one has said as much (yet), but I’m sure someone, somewhere will be bothered at this seeming injustice.
I’ve gotten used to that, just like I’ve gotten used to the idea that some of the larger venues in town are going to crank themselves up to demand more coverage come January.
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It’s basic: Driving drunk = bad
I’ve got a subfolder called “Daily Checks” in my browser’s bookmarks made up of a variety of GJ- and Colorado entertainment-oriented Web sites, just to see what people are saying. What I saw in one of the forums today may be the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen on that site … and then again, it may not, considering some of what has been posted there.
Marija Vader’s story from earlier this week is referenced, the one that reports on the Sheriff’s Department’s finding that people drinking at Rum Bay accounted for 42 percent of all Mesa County bar-related drinking-and-driving citations between March 4 and July 31. The story also reports that the Sheriff’s Department got a complaint about a drunken couple having sex out in the open in a nearby parking lot. It was a good story, lots of people have read it. MOST, I would think, would be bothered by the DUI citation stats, even if they’re all for sex in the parking lot.
Not this guy. Here’s part of what he had to say:
“It is disgusting how it only takes one or two people with a little authority to ruin everyone else’s fun. If the GJPD or the Sherriff’s Department REALLY wanted to improve the city or county, they’d worry about the MASSIVE meth problem here and not a few drunk hard working citizens. And if they really wanted to combat drunk driving, they’d find out why it takes an hour to get a taxi in this city. Or better yet, tell the local MADD group to get off their butts and create an awareness program or a DD program.”
Oh, for crying out loud. So, in addition to enforcing the law, the cops are supposed to take responsibility for getting us cabs when we’re drunk? People who can’t find a cab aren’t responsible for their actions? We have cops to ENFORCE THE LAW, period, and we keep them busy enough doing that, not just with DUIs, but also that meth problem (which is indeed bad), missing people and a million other things. I’d rather they watch the roads than work on creating awareness programs.
I’m not going to be more specific about the site here, the little traffic it gets is more than enough. If you want to see a decent new GJ site, check out the Junction Daily Blog.
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Should we make ‘Tracks’ in 2006?
I find it hard to accept that 2005 is coming to an end, but it is, and even though we just finished up work on the last “Grand Valley Tracks”, it’s time to start thinking about next year. As it stands, we probably will do another local music CD in 2006, but it’s not set in stone.
I know some musicians check in here from time to time, and some other folks as well, so I’m asking: Assuming we do “Grand Valley Tracks 3” in 2006, what suggestions can you make? What worked? What didn’t? Do you like the idea of doing two, maybe even three discs with lower production runs, each one designed to appeal to more specific audiences, or should we again do one larger-run disc with multiple musical styles? Did those of you who were on one or both discs actually benefit from the exposure, or was it just another nonpaying gig?
What would you like to see us do?
If you have a genuinely productive suggestion, please pass it along by either posting it here or e-mailing gjfeatures@gjds.com. I want to hear from anyone who’s interested, particularly musicians, and some of the decisions we make in the next couple of months will be influenced by the suggestions … or lack of them.
Thanks.
Polar Express Hot Chocolate
Polar Express Hot Chocolate is available at Main Street Bagels for a limited time!
Owner Mark Smith created this liquid pleasure after reading the book to his kids 15 years ago. He uses melted chocolate bars and cream to make a thick, rich treat. It’s available only for special occasions like the Spirit of Christmas Walk and Christmas…and maybe a few Saturdays in December.
I wonder if they put whipped cream and chocolate bits on top?
I got a cup of hot chocolate at the GJHS football game a couple of weeks ago. It was obviously made from some Swiss Miss in the pouch…and not even the kind with those dehydrated little marshmallow bits. It cost me $3!!! When I was done I noticed most the chocolate settled like sludge in the bottom of my cup. This sounds like a far better deal than the usual powdery let-down.
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Running out of ‘Tracks’
Still haven’t picked up a copy of “Grand Valley Tracks 2”? You have two options: Pick one up at a local store that still has copies (Triple Play Records should still have some) or download it from the Web site. Don’t bother stopping by The Daily Sentinel’s office, though, because we’re out.
Nun-cracked
I went to see “Nuncrackers” at the Cabaret on Friday night and was a little disappointed with the experience. The talent was fine … good acting and singing, but the material was pretty rough. Was there not a funnier Christmas musical out there? On top of the mediocre writing, my friend and I were grossly overcharged for a bottle of wine. We ordered the cheap merlot, but received a $30 bottle we did not order. When the bill came, we told our server, who said “Well, you already drank it.” Pardon us, we couldn’t see the label in the dark theater and had no idea we were drinking the most expensive wine on the list. Anyone else have a similar experience, or was this a glitch in a normally professional establishment?
A pair of “Nutcrackers”
There’s been no “Nutcracker” the last couple of years in the Grand Valley. People always watch for that around the holidays, but didn’t get it.
This year, we have two.
As mentioned before, the Academy of Dance and Monument Dance Theatre are doing “The Nutcrackerâ€? at 2 and 7 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 17, at Fruita Middle School. That’s all the detail I have now.
Today, I found out that Broadway Elementary students, divided into three casts, are also doing “The Nutcracker”. Performances will be Dec. 9, 10 and 12-15 at 6:30 p.m. in the school’s cafeteria. Tickets are $5 and are available from the school secretary, 254-6430.
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“Rent” review by Sarah Protzman
Posting this for Sarah:
By SARAH PROTZMAN Daily Sentinel copy editor
Not since “Moulin Rouge� has a movie left the audience so ready to hop in the shower and belt out lines into the proverbial shampoo bottle.
Written by Jonathan Larson and loosely based on Giacomo Puccini’s opera “La Bohéme,� director Chris Columbus (Home Alone, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone) does a rousing job of bringing the popular stage version of “Rent� to life, with everything from fire — as tenants burn their eviction notices from apartment windows in the opening scene — to flirtation — as gay lovers Tom Collins and Angel dance down a New York avenue in “I’ll Cover You.�
“Those who haven’t seen Rent on the stage will sense they’re missing something, and they are,� Roger Ebert says in his review of the film. But, I would add, If you’re already a fan of the musical, there’s almost no chance you won’t like this effort.
The movie is cast mainly of its former Broadway performers, with the exception of Mimi, played by Rosario Dawson (Shattered Glass) and Joanne, played by Traci Thoms, who will appear in the forthcoming movie adaption of “The Devil Wears Prada.� Both of the women shine — Dawson in Mimi’s feisty pop tune “Out Tonight,� and Thoms in the lesbian fight song “Take Me Or Leave Me.�
If the voice of Mark (Anthony Rapp) sounds familiar, it’s because he sang on the Broadway soundtrack, too.
Some of the dialogue, lifted almost verbatim from the Broadway version, feels awkward and forced at first. But I soon lost myself in the wonderful performance of Broadway actor Jesse Martin as Collins, and tapping my fingers and feet to the rowdy Life Cafe rendition of “La Vie Bohéme.�
A few tracks are struck from the film so as to move the plot along, and those include … ah, nevermind. The film is so eye-catching and fast-paced that you won’t have time to notice. I had to consult the liner notes of the original Broadway soundtrack to remind myself of what was missing.
Contrary to popular belief, Larson, whose life in bohemian New York mirrored that of his “Rent” characters, was neither gay nor did he die of AIDS. Larson died the night before the first preview of “Rent,â€? on Jan. 25, 1996, of an undiagnosed aortic aneurism.
“Rent� is rated PG-13 for drug themes, sexuality and some strong language.
