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Boys Will Be Just That

By {screen_name}
Tuesday, July 24, 2007

I guess the monsoon season has begun. We were gathered at Highline Lake for an impromptu picnic yesterday afternoon and watched the sky warily as the lightning flashed around. Eventually the kids came out of the water, (hey, there were lots of people still in there) and decided to pack up before we got caught in what was sure to be a downpour. Alex, his friend Nick, and I were mesmerized by the lightning flashes and ever-darkening skies on the drive back home. OK, I was mesmerized. The boys were busy taunting each other about who didn’t say what to some "hot chick" they saw at the lake. As we got to the Fruita exit, we approached the infamous Colorado Wall Of Weather. A couple sprinkles hit the windshield and then all hell broke loose. I think we got an entire year’s worth of precipitation in the next 4 or 5 miles. Holy cow. The sky was as dark as I’ve ever seen it here, and the lightning show was awesome. The boys were still dissing each other until we pulled onto Ridges Boulevard and they saw the virtual moat that formed near the drainage area. “Oh man! Dude, check it out! Dude that’s awesome!” “Stop the car, we gotta go in that!” Yep, when you’re 15 and in your bathing suit already, a temporary lake is too hard to resist. So I pulled over and the two stooges got out and frolicked in what was at least a foot and a half of water. I was a bit concerned they would get sucked through the drainage pipe, until I realized they would wash out four feet away. Other drivers-by witnessed their impromptu swim and were laughing as they drove by to higher ground. The lightning started up again and they got in and we drove home, only to discover a pond had formed in the cul-de-sac. “Dude, we can ride our bikes through it!” “Dude, we can hydroplane!” “Dudes, you’re gonna wreck,” I muttered to myself. I had to laugh at the sheer goofiness of it all. They pedaled and sloshed through the pond numerous times splashing and laughing. Then I heard Alex yelp, followed by a few moments of silence, followed by hysterical laughter from Nick, followed by hesitant laughter from Alex, followed by a “You better not have wrecked your bike!” from me. I crossed over to the pond and saw Alex lying half-submerged in the murky water with his bike on top of him. “Are you OK?” I asked, trying not to laugh. “I hydroplaned!” he yelled with glee. “You’re also bleeding all over.” “Dude, that was so funny!” Nick laughed. After determining everything was more or less in one piece, including the bike, we headed into the house for dry clothes. It got me thinking about boys and their reactions to accidents. They laugh and joke at each other and say things like “Your leg was at this funny angle when you landed, and like you could see your face all up in the air, and then like you were flying through space and it was so funny!” Girls don’t do that. They get all concerned and Florence Nightingale takes over. We don’t get any joy out of crashing or wrecking. We don’t like the sight of blood, or limbs twisted at unnatural angles. I like the boy’s approach of less drama, more humor. Knowing that of course if it was serious, they’d respond appropriately. Wouldn’t they? Oh, yeah, not a single drop of rain fell at Highline Lake. 4 comments

Camping ... without a camper

By Robin Dearing
Monday, July 23, 2007

We just got back from our first tent camping trip in over five years. And guess what? It rained. We decided to stick close to home and camp up on Grand Mesa. Bill and the kids went up early on Friday and I followed with our friends, Rob and Tracee after work. It rained and hailed and thundered all afternoon on the Mesa. By the time we got there, the kids were asleep in the car and Bill was huddled our screened tent. "I sure am glad that we sold that trailer," Bill grumbled as we pulled up. Fortunately, Rob, Tracee and I didn't care that it was raining. We were out of the heat of the valley and sitting around in the damp cold was much more inviting than another weekend baking in the valley. The rain abated in time for us to start a fire and enjoy the evening. Saturday was beautiful — until the afternoon when the loudest thunderstorm I've ever experienced tumbled over the top of us. Mar and I took the opportunity to snuggle in our sleeping bags and wait it out. Bill was left out in the cold again, tending his pot of chili, which was ready to eat, just as the rain stopped. a%20canoe.jpg We spent the weekend paddling Bill's Scanoe (it’s not just a canoe, it’s a Scanoe) around the tiny reservoir next to our camp, looking for mushrooms, fishing (Mar caught the biggest fish of the weekend) and tending our campfire (which we've perfected into an art). a%20fish.jpg We also picked up a lot of trash. I was amazed at how slovenly people are. When we arrived, our campsite was a mess with garbage and fish parts strewn everywhere. By the time we left, we're proud to say, it was spic and span. I can't imagine enjoying the beauty that our surroundings have to offer and yet leaving it such a mess. a%20flowers.jpg Click over here to see more pictures. 6 comments

Happy Birthday Logan

By {screen_name}
Friday, July 20, 2007

This really p i ss es me off. And this does too. And what really makes me mad is that I can’t write about why I’m so mad because I don’t have the patience or the temperament to say “alleged” this and “alleged” that. And whatever I really want to say right now would likely get me in trouble with the corner office. Because some of what I really want to say is how the hell could this happen? How do you tear up a baby’s body with your teeth because you're upset his mother has to go to work? How can you be a baby’s mother and not have some idea that your husband just might have an anger management problem that he just might take out on your baby? Because really, it could all be a big mistake. Brandon Moore just might be a victim of being teased on the playground, or he might have ADD, or some other psychobabble disease and really shouldn’t be held accountable for biting a baby to death after he bashed him around a little during his nighttime bath on the eve of his second birthday. The Daily Sentinel got numerous letters to the editor and You Said Its when some boys killed a cat a couple months back and I’ll bet twenty bucks we don’t get anywhere near the outrage because some piece of crap human being allegedly killed a baby named Logan. Yeah, I’m mad. And I hope you are too. 9 comments

Anyone have earplugs I can borrow?

By Richie Ann Ashcraft
Thursday, July 19, 2007

The last few weeks I've noticed a huge leap in my kid's cognitive abilities which is totally annoying. I used to roll my eyes when other parent's would say things like "You'll wish they never learned to talk." Uh...I'm an idiot eye-roller because they were so right. My kid is currently nonstop babble machine repeating repeating repeating everything he hears. At 2 a.m. he calls from his room "All Done, All Done, All Done!" He stomps through the house screaming his own moniker, "SoJo, SoJo, SoJo," cheering himself on in an imaginary foot race across the living room...where he crashes into the sofa headfirst because he was looking at his own feet. And yes, everything is repeated in sets of three. He names everything he sees or asks "Wuzdat, wuzdat, wuzdat" or "whatdo, whatdo, whatdo" until he gets an answer. And it's all very loud. "DOGEE, BURD, MAWNMOW (lawnmower), MOMEL (watermelon), AZEE (cousin), NOOOO, THUICE, SEE, and of course, MOMEEEEE, MOMEEE, MOMEEE! Sigh. And he's just such a boy about it. He stomps things, hits things with sticks, takes his pants off, and is completely fearless. He learned to climb last week and now climbs on the dining room table every chance he gets. He reaches his hand up to countertops searching blindly for anything to pull down. He pulls things from cabinets and flings them across the kitchen. His baths must have BUBBLES, BUBBLES, BUBBLES! He's constantly underfoot and SHOUTING, SHOUTING, SHOUTING. Oh, and he hits people and fishhooks noses too so watch out. It's gonna drive this mother nuts I tell ya. Apparently it's a common problem in many households...this TALKING, TALKING, TALKING, by children. Kate at Mama Drama has the same problem...and she's pregnant....weird Internet twins? 5 comments

Summer blessings

By Robin Dearing
Wednesday, July 18, 2007

It's hard, sometimes, to write for this blog. Not because there's too little going on, but because there is too much. I want to whine and fuss and stomp my foot over a bunch of stuff going on, but no one wants to hear about it ... especially me. It's been so all consuming that I'm bogged down by it all, walking through quicksand, just going through the motions ... slowly. Last night as I lay motionless on the sofa watching an episode of Miami Ink, I noticed this out of the corner of my eye: Flute.jpg Mar was playing with her toys in her room, carefree. First, I was envious, then I was buoyed. She's been having such a great summer. She spent two weeks with her family in New York, she's attending a great day camp filled with her friends. She gets to sleep in and spend her days with her dad. Our evening are filled with bike rides, trips to the pool. We play games and color. And she gets to walk her electronic dog while wearing a feather boa skirt and a Jiffy Pop hat: walking%20dog.jpg Who would have thought that seeing a panty-clad girl playing a recorder — loudly and off key — would remind me of just how good things are. 4 comments

The Things Memories Are Made Of

By Richie Ann Ashcraft
Tuesday, July 17, 2007

It's funny how memories are made. You'd think that big events would be committed to memory easily and in some part are though often our brains lack the details. And then other flashes of days gone by are exactly that...a brief second of your life forever committed to the hippocampus. Sometimes just as it is occurring you know that you will remember it forever and unconsciously decide to pay extra attention so that you remember it just right. wave.jpg A moment like this occurred on Shipwreck Beach last week. My husband and I had a moment of privacy on the shore and shared a gentle smack on the lips while the waves lapped at our feet. Soren was in his dad's arms beaming and clapping for his parent's show of spontaneous affection. star.jpg We tried to kiss him too but he answered with a stubborn "no" and shook his head back and forth so that planting him with some lips was impossible. He reached out grabbing the back of both of our heads and pushed our faces together so that we would kiss again. We did and he laughed in delight, repeatedly pushing us together until all of us were laughing happily. It's as if he has an innate sense that this kissing between his parents is a very very good thing. beach.jpg Setting him on his feet he chased a seagull making a "baa baa baa" noise in mimick of the irritated bird. We watched him silently, our arms around each other, wondering how we ever lived without him; how lucky we are to have each other and such a sweet little boy. face.jpg I know I won't remember the car ride or the screaming or the random hotel rooms, but I hope I always remember those few minutes on the beach and that memory brings me comfort and happiness sometime in the future. 4 comments

Sold

By Robin Dearing
Monday, July 16, 2007

Just in time for us to go camping next weekend, we sold our camp trailer (thanks to The Daily Sentinel classifieds!) What? Yeah, I know that it doesn't make any sense to have sold our camper just before our camping trip, but that's how Bill and I roll — without much logic and a whole lotta flyin' by the seat of our pants. I loved that trailer and we always had a great time "camping"* in it. But we never used it as much as we wanted. So now we're back to tenting it. * Because it really isn't camping if you have running water, a bed and a bathroom. In order to stave off regret, we're going to invest in some good sleeping mats ... the idea of sleeping on the ground, or even worse an always de-inflating air mattress, is not something that would serve anyone who had to deal with me the morning after well. But I am actually looking forward to camping in a more Spartan manner. Just taking our truck, tent, dog and ... oh, the kids ... and enjoying the simplicity of Mother Nature. We here in the Grand Valley are so lucky to be surrounded by so many places that make for great camping all within a couple hours drive. Ever since we hiked to Hanging Lake earlier this year, I've wanted hike around to some more of the wonders our region has to offer. And now we're not restricted by where we can get our trailer. Plus, it's been so golly-gee-willickers hot in the valley, just idea of not having to sleep with 16 fans pointed at me, seems pretty wonderful. 3 comments

Opium for the Masses! Awesome!

By Robin Dearing
Friday, July 13, 2007

Recently our basic cable package was upgraded to expanded basic cable. And. It's. Awesome. So awesome that I've threatened to cancel it numerous times recently. But I really don't want to because I love. Love. LOVE. it so much. Before we mostly watched a little of the three network channels and the Discovery Channel and more often than not, we didn't have the TV on at all. Now, I can't wait to turn it on at lunch time and again when I get home from work. Last week, I turned on a marathon of last season's VH1's World Series of Pop Culture at lunch then came home after work and finished watching the season. World Series of Pop = Awesomeness. And now there's a new season with new teams and new awesomeness. (Note to the young girl who got the category about ’80s music: Just because you weren't born yet, doesn't mean that your ears are immune to the joyous sounds of ’80s music. Please next time you're in a contest and don't know the answer, spare us all the rise in blood pressure and avoid saying, "I wasn't born yet" over and over. Oh, and buy yourself a CD or two from those ancient days before 1993.) Do you know that you can watch Emeril Lagasse on "Emeril Lagasse Live!" hosted by Emeril Lagasse (that neckless dude is in love with saying his name)? Bam! We like watching the Food Network. There are people cooking awesome food on that channel all the time. And if regular food isn't your thing, then you can click over to the Travel Channel and watch Andrew Zimmern eat bizarre foods on his aptly named show, Bizarre Foods. I saw the dude eagerly eat the raw heart from a freshly killed kingfish with just a little salt and lime. Bizarre ... and awesome (but so not for me.) Yesterday at lunch, Bill and I watched a replay of the July 4th Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest on ESPN. After eating 60 hot dogs (that's right people 60), Takeru Kobayashi, the five-time champion, threw up in his hands and then ... well, it's just too gross to recount here. I actually had to leave the room, as I have an uber-weak stomach. Needless to say, it was compelling on the grossness scale but only marginally awesome. Oh man, the things I missed out on before I had expanded cable. How did we ever survive before? 4 comments

Desserts Spelled Backwards

By {screen_name}
Thursday, July 12, 2007

Years ago during a job interview I was asked how I handled stress. My reply was a sincere “I don’t believe in stress.” It was true at the time. Really, if you look back, the whole concept of “stress” was unheard of until it became popular in the early ‘80’s. Before that I think we just called it “life.” Now we have what must be literally a gajillion dollar segment of our economy built around stress and stress relief. I’m thinking about this right now because I am pretty stressed. Being a single mother of a currently high-maintenance 15-year-old son is pretty stressful on a good day. And there haven’t been many of those lately! So rather than kick back for the summer I decide to buy and sell houses. I got myself into it kind of by accident. We were thinking of moving to Palisade and started looking at houses there last April. It became apparent that all there was to buy were 850 square foot fixer-uppers and multi-million dollar estates. So I thought about just looking for a two-story house with a yard near where we live now. I put an ad in The Daily Sentinel classifieds for one day - one day! - and sold my house. Call classifieds at 242-1313. So now I had to find a place to live. Which I did. About a quarter of a mile up the road. So now I’ll spend my summer packing, moving, painting and dealing with sprinklers and a lawn mower. Oh, did I mention the high-maintenance teenager? Yes, I promised him that if we found a house with a yard we could get a dog. Shoot me now. And it has to be a puppy. I know nothing about puppies except they pee on your carpet and chew up your furniture. What does my son know about puppies? Even less. But we’re still getting one and any suggestions on how to raise it (or the teenager) are welcome! With all this happening, I am admittedly a little stressed. But all things are relative, as you know. I am grateful that all my needs and most of my wants are taken care of. Compared to huge segments of the human population I live on Easy Street. And I don’t want to be moving from there anytime soon. 2 comments

Maternity Leave

By Richie Ann Ashcraft
Wednesday, July 11, 2007

If you really want to irritate me, come up and say "It must be nice...." You can finish it anyway you want, "It must be nice to have a big house or it must be nice to be skinny." It doesn't really matter to me how you finish it ... it's an irritating phrase because it implies that the person you're talking about is somehow undeserving of what they have or some sort of elitist who couldn't have possibly worked and saved to get something. But whatever you do ... do not come up to me and say, "It must be nice to take maternity leave," because that is the ultimate in irritating. To be honest the first time around I thought the same thing many of my single friends think about maternity leave so I don't really blame them for their jealousy. I had a list of things a mile long that I was going to do while off of work. I was going to spring clean my house, organize my kitchen, clean my closets, read a few books and spend some warm hammock time cuddling my new baby in the spring sunshine. I was so so SO wrong. Let me just remind everyone what really happens on maternity leave. First there's the whole hospital stay. There's a reason you're in the hospital ... because it's a very physical thing this having a baby business. Maybe you'll stay one day or four. You won't sleep in the hospital because you have a new baby, you have visitors, you have doctors and student nurses pushing on and looking at you. You have papers to sign and drugs to take. It hurts during and it hurts afterwards. The nursing nazis will come and feel you up. And all of your attention will be focused on this new baby. Then you finally get to go home. You think it will be relaxing and it is for a second until everyone finds out you're home. Then the phone rings off the hook. The doorbell rings with flower deliveries. People come over. There's no cleaning because every single muscle you have hurts from pushing. Besides you're not supposed to lift anything; not that you care to. When you're not taking care of the baby you're spending time in the bathroom taking care of yourself and your stitches in the nether regions. Then of course there's the mental taxation of keeping a brand new human alive. It's not that hard right???? Yeah, it's hard to keep a little person alive. They scream; they poop tar; they won't eat; they won't sleep; they won't wake up to eat. They might be turning yellow from jaundice and you have to go to the doctor. A nurse stops by to see if the baby is gaining weight and to discreetly make sure you don't live in a meth lab. You had to clean the house that morning so the nurse doesn't think you're a bad mother. At night everybody goes to sleep except you and the baby. You might doze for a 1/2 hour or you might stay up and read some more about treating jaundice. Doesn't matter because it won't be enough sleep to live on. The baby will scream like you're sticking him with hot pokers. Somehow nobody hears it but you. A long sleepless night later, you'll fall asleep just as the phone rings for the first out of a hundred times that day. I never knew a person could live off of 10 hours a week of sleep but it can be done. Just ask any new mom. Then you have to set up a pumping schedule to make sure you have enough milk for emergencies when you do return to work. You pump yourself like a dairy cow every half hour for two weeks. This state of perpetual zombie-ism (nice word huh?) goes on for weeks. In my case it went on for months. There is no way a new mom can work prior to six weeks after delivering a baby. It just seems impossible to me to think that a person could have the mental or physical strength. There's no cleaning house, no matinees or poolside cocktails. There's just screaming, and pooping and feeding. An occasional fuzzy thought of love for your new baby and a hug from your husband as you admire this beautiful person that you are working so hard to keep alive is all that keeps you going day after night after day. Maternity leave isn't "nice" in the way people think ... it's essential to a new family and to a new mom. It's a far far cry from a vacation. Remember that when you see my empty seat and think, "It must be nice ..." 2 comments
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