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By Robin Dearing
Thursday, August 30, 2007
I think the one broad underlying theme of all my writings here, is that parenting is hard (this is usually accompanied by a lot of whine and foot stomping).
Making the right choices for my child and for myself and the rest of the family is scary. What if I make a wrong decision? What if my choices screw up my kid but good? What if she grows up to be a crook or worse, a Republican? (Just kidding, Lynn!)
I worry about stuff all the time. Is she being short-changed because I'm a working mom? Do we spend enough time with her? Do we spend too much time with her? Do we push her too hard/not hard enough?
I don't think I'll ever be comfortable with that aspect of parenting, but there is so much about being a mom that I love.
I've taken the advice to savor my child as she's growing up and enjoy every period in her life. I loved having an infant with her littleness and her dependence. I savored her babyhood, as she reached milestones on a daily basis. It was fun to play with Margaret as a toddler who found infinite joy in most everything. Then she was a preschooler learning new things all time, running and playing by herself and with her friends, but always coming back to mom.
Now she's a school-ager and I can honestly say that I love this period the most. She's so much fun to be around. She independent and capable of doing so much for herself, yet she's great company. I love walking over to the pool with her on nights that Bill teaches late. I love the way she curls her long legs up into her chair and watches the Disney Channel. I love that she wants to play games with me and chatter about her day at school.
I love seeing her little face in the morning and kissing her goodnight. I'm lucky to have a job that I enjoy coming to every morning, but I'm even luckier that I have a daughter that I can't wait to get home to every night.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
If you’re reading this blog - we want to talk to you!
One of the really fun and interesting parts of my job is to take a look at new products that our readers would be interested in reading!
In our quest to deliver fresh, fun and useful information, The Daily Sentinel is considering new options and we want your opinions, input and feedback. We will be hosting some focus group sessions to see what you think about some new projects geared towards women and the Western Colorado lifestyle. The focus groups will take place mid-September and last less than two hours. If you are asked to join, all you have to do is show up and be ready to talk - you can do that, right? Participants must be female, over the age of 18 and a resident of Western Colorado. If you’d like to join us, please send an e-mail to firstname.lastname@example.org
Include your name, age, and a little about your hobbies, interests and leisure activities. Please reply by September 9. Thank you!
And feel free to invite your friends and other female family members to join us!
By Richie Ann Ashcraft
Monday, August 27, 2007
I love getting and giving onesies and wipes and diapers in anticipation of a new baby. I just can't tell you what a great feeling it is to fold and refold all the new baby's clothes. I like to open the closet and relax in the security of 10 packs of diapers and smell the fresh bottles of shampoo and baby lotion. Believe me...having stuff stockpiled is such a comfort when facing the daunting challenge of bringing home a brand new baby.
But, there are a few gifts I received that I never knew would be so useful in those first few weeks as a new mom.
If you're ever at a loss for a baby shower gift...give food. Bring over the homemade lasagna and the enchiladas or give the grocery store gift card with the link to online shopping.
When we came home with Soren a particularly generous friend rang our bell, handed the hubby a little pile of papers and ran away. The papers were take-out menus to area restaurants like Chilis
with gift cards attached. It was awesome to not have to rely on delivery pizza every night.
This time my friends filled my freezer with meals from Supper Solutions
. I've been standing out in the garage opening the freezer and relaxing in it's coldness while gazing at my Bistro Greek Pitas and Citrus Tuna steaks. I don't know if it's good or not because that food is strictly off-limits until this new baby arrives, but I hear it's pretty great and I'm looking forward to it.
The other stand-out gift was one that came a few months into new mommyhood. It was a gift just for me...a pedicure and a haircut from Mesa Mall. A few months into the new baby's life, I woke up and realized that I had neglected myself pretty badly. New babies leave little time for primping in front of the mirror but at some point a working mom has to clean herself up for her big debut at the office. A little "me" time was much appreciated.
I feel very lucky to have such generous people in my life and hope to pay it forward whenever I can.
By Robin Dearing
Friday, August 24, 2007
I had a rookie mom question last week about parking at my daughter's elementary school at the frenzied hour of 3 o'clock, so I called my neighbor, whose daughter is a first grader.
I didn't call the school office because Lord knows with 700 students they have enough nervous, first-time mamas to deal with.
My neighbor was my BTDT (Been There, Done That) Mama for the day.
I learned early on that the BTDT Mamas were my best source for helpful advice. Despite the small library of pregnancy and parenting reference books I collected when I was pregnant with Miss C, and that collected dust when I was pregnant with my second daughter, the best information I got was from the BTDT Mamas. They could tell me in 10.2 seconds what I needed to know, while the equivalent knowledge gleaned from a book would have taken me 10.2 minutes. We all know real mamas don't have that kind of time!
They didn't bother to impress me with fancy medical terms or parenting lingo. They didn't sugar coat things. And I was all the more grateful for their advice.
Perhaps, like me, your BTDT team includes your mother, your mother-in-law, your best friend and your sister-in-law. I'm thankful for their advice and insight. Because despite the litany of parenting Web sites and message boards available today, nothing can replace the advice of a mom who's BTDT.
Do you have a BTDT Mama (or mamas) that you turn to for advice?
Read more from Blonde Mom Jamie here, here and here!
By Robin Dearing
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Apparently everyone loves a good birth story ... I wouldn't have ever guessed this but I watched some cable while lazing around the hospital and they have hours and hours of birth stories on Discovery Health. It's weird to be lying in bed holding a new baby and watching other people give birth on TV. Sorry folks, there'll be no video here but I'll share a condensed version of my most recent delivery events for your voyeuristic pleasure.
I don't know when labor started because it felt like it started days and days before. I was hot and grumpy with intermittent pains. I had a fitfully sleepless night because every so often I'd wake up with stabbing stomach pain. I kept telling myself that if I was indeed going into labor that I had better just try to get some sleep.
In the morning I wasn't really sure if I was in labor or not so I took a few Tylenol and went to work because I'm a dedicated employee. I had time to introduce myself to the new gal then started watching the clock as each pain gripped my abdomen. My head really wasn't into it that day what with someone stabbing my innards so I went home after just a couple of hours. And, I totally felt guilty for leaving the new girl to swim on her own and knowing that my leaving just ruined my cubbymate's whole week!!! I'm so so sorry Tammy.
At home I tried to rest. I ate something. I paced the house. I told all callers that I would be unavailable as I was in labor. The contractions came at strange intervals, 45 minutes apart, 20 minutes, 3 minutes, then back to 30 minutes. My water never broke and progress was pretty slow.
I realized we needed some oatmeal and some yogurt so I forced the family to go to Vitamin Cottage with me. I figured it was a safe place to pass some time as nobody will talk to or offer to help us there anyway. We shopped, stopping occasionally to feign interest in the potato chips while we waited for a pain to pass. We bumped into some friends and compared shopping notes while I tried to grin and bear labor politely.
I was determined to stay home as long as possible. By 5 p.m. the pains brought tears to my eyes. I had a smoothie while sitting in the bathtub. I can't remember if my family ate dinner because I was busy being crippled over whatever chair or table that was available. Still the pains were unpredictable.
By 9 p.m. they were 5 minutes apart but hurt like hell. I could no longer stay home, or walk, or do anything but cry on my hubby's shoulder. I was less than stoic.
A nurse sauntered into the deliver room to check my progress. She looked at me surprised and announced, "You are at a 7 or 8 ... we have to get ready for this baby now." And a crowd of nurses came into the room pushing various stainless steel trays of sharp things.
"Can I have an epidural NOW?" I breathed out.
"We'll try," she said.
Oh MY GOD ... she did not just say the word "try." I thought to myself as total panic set in.
"Tell him (the anesthesiologist) to run," I said in all seriousness although everyone in the room except me laughed.
It's already taken me three days to write this entry and Jonas just let out a little warning squeak. So to make a long story short, I did get an epidural and within minutes of doing so he was born. I'm sparing the weak of the really gruesome details. You can watch TV for that. There was some scary stuff with the cord, Jonas needing oxygen and an Apgar of only 5 or 6.
But, after only an hour of arriving at the hospital, I was holding my beautiful healthy and really alert baby boy and enjoying some honey nut Cheerios. It just doesn't get any better than that unless you're Robin and you can push sans drugs. All in all I think I weathered it like a champ and I'm pretty proud of the trophy I got at the end.
A note from Robin:
We here at The Daily Sentinel were treated to some very special visitors yesterday. Richie brought in baby Jonas for everyone to ooh and ahh over. He's the sweetest little nut — really strong and calm and as cute as can be. Lynn got to enjoy him the most as he seemed to be really comfortable with her.
So thanks to the Ashcraft family for giving us yet another adorable little boy to dote on!
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
I wrote once before about how occasionally, just before I am fully awake in the morning, thoughts will drift through my semi-conscious mind. They are like
waking-dreams and I’ve learned that there are important messages in them. Yesterday morning I awoke to my internal voice talking to me about my perspective on my life.
So it’s the first day of school. How do you feel about that?
Hmmm, mixed feelings, but glad it’s a new beginning. A rough summer really left me doubting my abilities as a parent. Am I doing enough? Too much? Am I brave enough to get us through it?
You’re doing the best you know how. It’s not all up to you anyway. There is another party involved who is responsible for himself you know.
Yeah, good point. And really, things in my life are pretty darn good.
I have a smart, handsome son, a man who adores me, friends and family who support me, my health, a great new house, and a job to pay for it all.
Yeah, so what are you b i t c hing about?
I’m not really. Not right now anyway.
I think maybe you need more peace of mind, and heart. And you know how to get it.
And . . . ?
Alright, alright. I got it. Can I get up now?
Yes, but remember what we said.
Geez, and Alex thinks I nag him
By Robin Dearing
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
As I raced out of work early yesterday, I heard the sound that all Daily Sentinel employees dread, the train whistle.
I was on my way to pick up Margaret from her first day of school and a train was coming. Since construction for the Riverside Parkway closed off our escape route over to the Fifth Street Bridge, we're virtually trapped here when a train comes.
I began to panic. If it was a full coal train, I could have to wait up to 20 minutes. Mar's first day ended in 10. I sat with my finger hovering over the speed-dial number of her school. I'd tell the secretary and she'd keep Mar until I got there (I love the secretary at Mar's school, she's so wonderfully practical and helpful).
Fortunately, it was a short train and I had enough time to park my car at home and walk to the school. After the bell I walked into Mar's classroom and she ran over talking a mile a minute about all things school.
She was totally excited about her class and seeing her friends again and her new teacher.
I was so relieved that I wanted to cry (again).
She happily did her chores and then settled to watch a TV show while she ate a snack.
I peeked in on her while she relaxed in her pink, feather-lined Barbie chair. I exhaled ...finally and thought to myself, "It's all going to be OK."
By Robin Dearing
Monday, August 20, 2007
As we walked down our street this morning, our neighbor called out, "First day of school?"
"Yep," Margaret called out.
"Awesome," he replied.
She was all ready for her first day of second grade. She had her backpack filled with school supplies and her new school clothes.
As we walked into the building Margaret was cheerfully greeted by the teachers and the staff. She waved and said hello easily. She didn't appear to be very nervous.
Bill and I walked Margart to her classroom and got her desk set up. Then it was time to leave.
As we walked home, I got a knot in my stomach. I feel completely discombobulated and out of sorts.
Are we doing the right thing sending her back to this school?
This year she's in a combined second and third grade class. There are seven second graders and 11 third graders. 18 students. That's a small class size for a district that is increasing exponentially. Where else can she be in a class that small?
She's comfortable there. She's learned so much so far. She's happy there. She loves her school.
Why would we ever consider sending her anywhere else?
Friday, August 17, 2007
It was a moment all mothers dread. My palms were sweaty and my heart was pounding. I silently prayed, “Dear God, this is in your hands. Please protect me and my only begotten son. Watch over us and keep us all safe.”
Alex and I sat in the waiting area and didn’t say much. He was a little nervous about the outcome of the test he was about to take. I was more than a little nervous, but tried my best to put on a happy face. Finally, they called his number and he stepped up talk to the lady behind the desk.
“OK”, she said. “Are you ready?”
“Yep, as ready as I’ll ever be,” Alex replied.
After the obligatory paperwork and passing of id, he picked up a pencil and walked over to the test area.
In approximately five minutes and 25 questions, he could walk away with his learner’s permit.
As he pondered the questions, I paced the waiting area. Half of me was rooting him on and the other half was thinking he is really not ready for this. Correction, I am really not ready for this.
He finished the test and took it back to be graded. You’re allowed to miss 5 and he missed 6. I had to bite my tongue to keep from cheering. I mean really! What kind of mother hopes her son will fail?
However, the good state of Colorado allows you to take the test again right on the spot, which of course Alex did.
Which of course he passed with 100%.
He whooped and carried on like, well, like some teenager who had just been handed the keys to the golden gates of freedom. He had to pry them out of my tightly clenched fist first.
I actually let him drive home. My car. For which I paid a lot of money. And I have to hand it to him, he did a good job! Little heavy on the gas and light on the brakes, but we’re working on that.
And I’m still praying the same prayer.
You should too.
By Robin Dearing
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Earlier this week I wrote an entry for my personal blog
about how Margaret has decided to go into the field of crime fighting.
Yes, siree, she wants to be a crime fighter and fight crime with a costume and tool belt full of unspecified tools and accessories.
After much deliberation, she decided she wanted to be called UnderMargaret ... which I think is pretty funny, but she takes this all very seriously.
Upon reading the earlier entry, a friend and former co-worker e-mailed and said she was reminded of the book written by Louise Fitzhugh, Harriet the Spy.
I, too, read this book as a little girl and loved it.
I remember spending one summer vacation with a pad of paper and a pencil mapping out my neighborhood and planning excursions to spy (fortunately for all involved, I was better at the planning than the execution).
Because Bill was out of town, I decided that after work I'd take Margaret to the book store to get Mar her own copy of Harriet the Spy. Then we'd read the book together each night. I couldn't wait to pick her up that day.
When she got in the car, I told her about the e-mail from our friend, about the book I loved so much and how I wanted to share it with her.
"Uh, I already have a lot of books. Maybe we should wait until I've read more of the books I already have," she suggested in a tone that seemed to be just a touch reproachful — as if my idea was too whimsical.
At first, I was a bit frustrated and disappointed, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that she just wasn't into the idea. And then I realized that trying to force her into having an experience just because I wanted it, was silly.
She was tired and wanted to go home. I was too. And we spend our evening happily ever after.
Funny how things work out sometimes.