Because I Haven’t Talked About Boobs in Awhile

Yesterday Jonas took his first steps. Luckily on my lunch hour because what working mom wants to hear that her precious baby walked while she was away? That will make the guilt set in. Good boy for letting mommy be witness to this incredible feat. Those steps mark the end of yet another one of my babies evolving into a little boy. It's bittersweet and although it makes a mommy proud it also makes a mommy sad. But, our jobs as parents is to help our children with the next stage of their life, whatever that may be, and no matter how sad it makes us feel. For Jonas it means mommy will hold his little hand while he learns to step carefully up stairs, hold the wet washcloth on scraped knees, and start telling him "NO" three hundred times a day. But, there's one thing about babydom that Jonas does not want to give up and that's my boobs. He still nurses like a newborn, every two hours at night, and pretty much anytime that my chest is in the same room as his mouth. He's learned to tug down my top in hopes my boob will fall out of my bra. He does not, will not, and won't give up even one feeding. Not at 12:30 a.m., not at 2:30 a.m., not at 4:30 a.m., and so on and so on. It's been 11 months since I've slept for more than three hours uninterrupted. I just can't do it anymore. And, so I've decided to proactively wean Jonas. It's not going very well. It's been about two weeks trying to drop even one of the night time feedings. When he wakes up, he shrieks like a banshee if I don't give him boob. I mean SHRIEKS. As he's shrieking, he flings himself around the crib like Satan has control of his body. No amount of patting, or sweet talk will calm him. Sometimes I can rock him or massage his back until he falls asleep again. This takes anywhere from 30-45 minutes. I drag myself back to my own bed dreading the fact that I'll be back up to do it all again in two hours. I've caved a couple of times and nursed him or brought him into my bed to cuddle. I've tried everything: the cereal before bed, the cry it out, the white noise, the complete silence, the cuddle, the tough love approach. Nothing is working. At this point I don't even care if he is completely weaned. I just want it to stop at night. I just want to catch up on 11 months of sleep. Any suggestions would be most appreciated.