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Can We Talk?

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Warning: this entry contains anatomically correct language. “I get it Mom, I get it! Geez, do you have to go on and on about everything? Just say what you mean and just say it once. You don’t have to explain for half an hour. I’m not stupid.? Venus and Mars. Male and Female. Mother and son. We were driving back from tennis practice and talking about the •morning after pill?. I don•t remember what brought the topic up - I think it was some billboard about child sex abuse, which then led to the topic of unplanned pregnancy and abortion, which led to the morning after pill. Alex, somewhat to my surprise, knew what the pill was for because he looked it up in English class last year at a teacher’s request. Not that I have any issue with him knowing about it, I was just surprised it became part of an 8th grade language arts class discussion. This led to my “lecture? about how he didn•t need to worry about the morning after pill or any of the thousand different sexually transmitted diseases out there because he was smart enough not to engage in behaviors that would give him (or his mother) cause to worry. I then also took the time to “lecture? him about how even though that pill was available it was still interfering with the creation of life which is a God-given gift. And as Catholics we believe (along with others) that only God has the right to determine when and if a child is created. And so on, and so on and apparently so on, until finally Alex yelped! •Mom, you don’t have to beat the point to death! I know, I’m just saying that the sperm is prevented from reaching the egg. It’s like that stupid movie we had to watch in 5th grade. Ohmigod, it went on forever. All they had to say was the penis goes into the vagina and sperm comes out to fertilize the egg. It should have taken 5 minutes!? (Okey, dokey. Good to know. It was actually kind of a dorky movie, with the girl in the white dress floating through the field in some poor adolescent boy•s nocturnal dream.) “Just bottom-line it! You and dad do the same thing. You make the point and then keep making it. Just say it once! You guys tell me the same thing over and over until I fall asleep with my eyes open.? Hmmmm, say it once? You must be joking. I•m a female, and a mother. We’re supposed to discuss things ad nauseam. That’s what we do. Especially concerning things that have to do with our child’s well-being, whether it’s academic, physical, spiritual or sexual. But OK. I can be brief. I can make the point once and then stop. I’ll just have to do that 50 times in a row.