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DON’T call me ‘coach’

By Richie Ann Ashcraft

So, Soren's all signed up and ready to play baseball. He's been assigned to a team without a coach.

A number of emails circulated back and forth last week discussing the fact that there wasn't a coach. They went from "hey, we need a coach" to "OMG we need a damn coach now." I, like an idiot, replied to the more earnest one volunteering my secretarial services to the team. Instead, all of our names went into a hat and mine was drawn to "lead" the team.

WTF?

Anybody who knows me just laughed out loud when they read that. I don't know ANYTHING about sports. Zip. Nada. They could not have made a lamer choice. Fer reals.

I immediately called Marty who laughed out loud and called me "Coach." All weekend with the "Hey coach, whatcha doing." "Hey coach, what drills are you gonna run?"

I called every single number on my list and explained that I can be a great team manager — I'll make the nicest snack schedule you've ever seen — but I cannot and will not let anybody call me coach.

I organized a practice tonight which seems like it will be more of a parent meeting and me begging someone to step up and teach these boys to pitch. I think I'll wear my esperdrilles for effect.

COMMENTS

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So? Are you still the ... uh, not-coach? I hope a knowledgable volunteer shows up!




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