Dorkville

We have six kids in our family. While growing up we all wrote letters to our eldest sister, Vicki, who apparently saved them ALL! Over the years she has bit by bit revealed them to us, and they are proof that we were all, indeed, dorks. They are also proof that we actually used to write, in long hand (do they even call it that anymore?) real letters, before the days of e-mail and texting and such. For your daily dose of humor, and sacrificing any shreds of dignity I may have left, I offer you some of these excerpts my sister recently shared with me. To Lynn, a short trip down “memory lane” from Vicki, older sister extraordinaire. Excerpts from letters received during Lynn’s high school and college days, written to Vicki while she was in college (CMSV) and her early years of working and living in New York: Oct. 9, 1975 (Lynn at home, junior in high school, current boyfriend Kevin? Vicki at college) Dear Mayella, (alias Vicki) Howdy! I can’t come up this weekend (to CMSV) becuz I’m getting my teeth out. Also, I have tickets to a concert at the playhouse. Next weekend I’m going to see Godspell, and I have a hockey game. You are so lucky that you live away from home! I swear, I walk around on the edge of a nervous breakdown all the time. I really can’t stand it! I’ve rejected everything about ma and pa and figured out that they’re their own best punishment. I don’t even think I’m going to go to college, at least not right away. I just want to live by myself for a while, get my head together, and grow up, before I continue my education. I don’t even want ma or pa to pay a single penny for tuition. You know, your philosophy about guys is a very good one! But, me and Kevin are more in love than ever, but I still can’t help checking out the good lookers. Did you hear I was runner up for Kick-Off queen? It was really nice. I got a corsage and had to ride around in a car at that football game. Corny, but it was fun. Barf! I guess that whole "get my head together thing" hasn't quite happened yet. More in love than ever! Yeah, that lasted about two months. Guess he didn't like me checking out the good lookers. Oct. 17, 1975 Dear Mayella, Too bad about Carlos, although its not really, just look at Lucy and Ricky Ricardo. You want to grow up like them? Your plans for the weekend sound really far-out… I hope I can come… I would definitely need to be home for the confirmation, seeing as how I’m Danette’s sponsor. Gram and Gramp Ted are coming, too. Mark will probably make me pay for gas - he’s so cheap, it’s incredible! Kevin hit another deer with his car. Then he hit a guardrail and dented it all up. What a ding bell. See ya! Far-out? Did we actually used to say that? I don't remember who Carlos was - but apparently he didn't last long. Mark is our brother, and he's still cheap! Kevin hit another deer - mostly cuz he was a drunk-driver. Nov. 13, 1975 Dear Vicki, Hi babes! How ya doin? Our hockey team beat two teams that were undefeated and we won the section 9 tournament! That’s the highest we can go, pretty good, huh? I got a raise of 25 cents an hour at work, so now I’m making $2.75 an hour! I was really surprised and happy. I made Tomahawk Queen finalist. We had the assembly yesterday, oh man, it was awful. I felt so dumb up there. I was so depressed the rest of the day! Perri, Terri, Cathy Wengert, Julie Hilton and Julie Loeble also made finalist. Kevin and I aren’t doing too well. At least, I’m not with him. Write soon. I miss you - sometimes. OK, you're getting the idea that academics was not exactly my strong point. But hey - I was a working girl! Good thing too since I wasn't allowing my parents to pay a single penny of my college tuition. Guess I got by on my stellar athletic ability and good looks! Oct. 14, 1976 (my Freshman year at Siena College) Howdy! Que pasa at CMSV? When are you gonna come and visit me? How was your weekend with that guy (Frank) at his cottage? It was a good thing you went!! God, why in the hell did you call Ma to ask her? What did you expect her to say… yes?! I got in a fight with her about it. She doesn’t “know what she’s raising!” Anyway, tell me about it! I just listened to 4 records of the entire play of Hamlet. Oh God, it took 4 hours. I don’t see any theme or meaning in it! There was a hypnotist/speaker here last night. He was so damn good! Everyone was spellbound! Behave yourself, and if you’re not gonna behave, for pete’s sake don’t call and ask Ma! No point in actually reading the meaningless book when you can listen to the record! Nov 3., 1976 HI! I’m writing this in my English class, tsk-tsk. Well, I’m sick of hearing about Odysseus - I don’t care if he ever gets back to Ithaca! Got a B+ on my Spanish test, and I wanted an A! I had so much fun at the Tomahawk dance! Franny is such a riot! Dolly Berry won, she looked really pretty - she loved it! I swear to God, she ate it up. Its probably the best thing that’ll ever happen to her. Anyway, after the dance we went out for a drink or two. Robin went to the dance with Ralph Vanacore. Those two and friends went to dinner at Salvucci’s first. They all got surf and turf! I couldn’t believe it! I haven’t had surf or turf in I don’t know how long! I heard you have seen quite a bit of Mark and that he met Frank. Ma is going nuts because all her daughters are dating Italians… wait until she finds out we (Franny) plan to get married. She’ll have grandchildren named Vito, Dominick, and Micky Jr! Karen Flynn came up last weekend. We had a great time! She’s in the tail-end of her therapy with two psychologists and is really a lot better! Give my love to the nuns! Help me Jesus. I don't even know where to begin on this one! Meeeeowww to the Dolly Berry ding. Robin is another sister, apparently well-fed. Karen was my best-friend all through high school. That could explain her intensive psycho-therapy needs. Feb 15. Hi toots. How are you? Judging from your letter, you’re not suffering from boredom! What did Frank give you for Valentine’s Day - a whole damn rose garden? I called Franny, but he wasn’t home. My friends, apartment and Michael are all fine. Michael shaved his beard- are you thrilled? My classes aren’t too bad. Math and Accounting are real killers, English and History are dull, uninspiring. But Spanish I adore. I love the teacher and the course. I’m going to tutor kids in fundamentals. I love cooking for myself! Everything at Siena involves a beer party. Really, its disgusting. Well, Franny wasn't home but at least I had clean-shaven Michael to fall back on! Beer party - disgusting? Was I just kidding when I wrote that? Maybe it was cheap beer . . . Ahh, yes! There's more if you can stand it!