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Hanging on to a Fraction

By Richie Ann Ashcraft
Soren Josef turned six months old last Sunday. It was a significant day for me as I found myself reflecting on my experiences as a new mother. In one of my prep classes, the nurse was discussing how our goal should be to breastfeed for six months to a year. I remember feeling anxiety grip my throat as the pressure of motherhood (impending doom) closed in and I was CERTAIN I didn’t have it in me. It just seemed like such a long time. My “book of lies? said that not all babies would sleep through the night within the first six months and I remember thinking •I’ll DIE if I have a baby like that.? I did have a baby like that. But, I•m alive and so is he. I mean, WOW, I actually kept this little person alive for half a year. Not only alive, but also free of bumps, bruises and traumatic childhood experiences. Six Whole Months! It’s so short. It’s just a tiny fraction of our lives, miniscule really in a normal life span, even smaller on the evolutionary timeline. And yet, in that tiny amount of time my boy went from this: lil baby.jpg To this: blog6.jpg Just look at how incredible that is! He’s gone from a nearly blind misshapen body to cognitive little boy. I’m in awe of him everyday. And what I didn’t know in class was how much I was going to love being his mom. I guess it just came naturally for me. I didn’t know what I was capable of at all. Nor how much my life would change. In six months, Soren has learned to do so many things. And I as his mom I’m just trying to keep up. We are learning together and it’s true that children teach us so much about ourselves. But most importantly, I’ve learned that moments in our lives last for a fraction of a second. I just want to hold on…hold on to that one half birthday for a little bit longer.

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