Losin’ it ... hopefully

We just started a contest here in the office at The Daily Sentinel. It's loosely based on the hit TV show, The Biggest Loser. Those of us wanting to shed some unwanted pounds (are there really "wanted" pounds? Well, I guess Richie gets to add those wanted baby pounds) are weighing in weekly with prizes going to the one who loses the most weight percentage. The best thing about this contest is that it's got us talking about our weight, our eating habits (and drinking habits) and it's got us thinking about what we want for ourselves. I've always been a chunky girl and I'm big and tall, too. And I've always felt awkward about my size. Not counting my pregnancy (which saw me gain 30 pounds in the first trimester ... yeah, I was hungry ... for rocky-road ice cream and Little Debbie Swiss rolls and Bill learned quickly to make sure I always had some), my weight has fluctuated about 10 or 15 pounds up or down since high school. I've never been skinny or even thin or even within 20 pounds of what those doctor people say is a healthy weight for my size. So I've got some serious work to do changing my eating habits and how I think of food. Food is fuel; it's not a reward or a hobby or a way to deal with my emotions. But I'm dedicated now. What has changed? I want to be healthy. I want to avoid getting diabetes, heart disease, stress on my bones and joints. I want to grow old without the problems from carrying around these 30 extra pounds. (Of course, I'd be lying if I didn't mention that I'm also really tired of the muffin-top ooging over my jeans and flabby arms blowing in the breeze when I play guitar.) I want to be there for my daughter as she grows up and for her adult life as well. My father was ravaged by heart disease and a plethora of other diseases — some caused by smoking and poor eating habits and some were genetic. Seeing him get so sick and ultimately die at the young age of 62 was an eye opener for me. I don't want my daughter to have to go through what I went though with my dad. I don't want that for my husband either. I can't change my genes, but I can change the choices I make on a daily basis. I know there will be times when I forget all my goals and gorge on fudge and cookies like I did this Christmas (stupid yummy cookies, why they gotta be so delicious), but as long as I'm working towards my goal more than I'm not, I'll be satisfied.