Multiparous

When pregnant, I remember having multiple conversations where the mother would say things like "with my first child, I did such and such and with my second child I did such and such" and I remember thinking, how odd, to do it one way with the first child and a different way with the second. I figured it must have been based on experience, that mother's were smarter and more crafty by the time the second one rolled around. I'm learning that parenting two children is much different than parenting one. Jean-Baptiste Greuze A Tired Woman with Two Children, 1750/1761 The Armand Hammer Collection When there was just one child in our house, I had a lot more free time which I spent making my own babyfood, washing cloth diapers, picking out matching pants and shirts, and reading my many parenting books. We've been sick pretty much ever since Jonas started solid food. Already he has had jars and jars of processed babyfood. Only this last weekend did I have the energy to get out my blender and make Jonas some home cooking. I feel bad about it in a way, but my priorities of late have been cleaning puke and shuttling children to the doctor. There's been no time to whip up pureed peas for my second child. I still use the cloth diapers but will admit I've contaminated the landfill with disposables much more often than I did with Soren. On these sick days, I nearly gave up the cloth and I rationalized it by saying that it kept the sick from spreading throughout my house further. That's dumb but regardless it's how I squelched my environmental guilt. Then, there is just the matter of time spent individually with the boys. It often feels like one's needs are prioritized over the other. One must wait while the other is bathed or fed. One is left on the floor to contemplate blocks while mommy plays chase. I've cut bedtime reading short on occasion due to a crying baby brother. I've put baby brother in his crib to cry while I tend to a bumped head. Thank goodness my lap has two knees because I use them often. Adding a second child changes a mother's job considerably. It's a lot more work and a lot less sleep. I'm trying to do all the good things that I did for Soren for Jonas as well, but I'm learning that there is no way to raise one exactly like the other.