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My boney, first-world problem

By Robin Dearing

Over the last year and a half, I’ve lost 30 pounds. I’m a couple pounds away from a healthy weight according to all those BMI charts on the internet. Believe me, I checked them all looking for the we-like-our-girls-on-the-chubbier-side chart, but it doesn’t exist.

So here I am, the healthiest weight I’ve ever been as an adult. I’m feeling pretty good about the accomplishment. Plus, I’m proud of the strides I’ve made in becoming an overall healthy person.

The biggest change was in what I eat. I ignored all the fad diets and eat what makes sense to me. I focus on non-processed food, vegetables and fruits. Oh and I stopped drinking soda — for the most part. If a family member opens a can of fizzy pop, I will inevitably ask for a sip. A sip is satisfactory.

I still eat junk food from time to time, but mostly not. In the past, I tried eating according to some crazy diet that involves flax seed and grapefruit juice. Now, I eat the healthy foods that I like. Sounds crazy, but it works for me.

Here’s the rub. 30 pounds down and I’m still chubby in all the places I was chubby before. OK, I’m less chubby in those places, but still obviously chubby (I’m avoiding using the term “fat” because I’m trying to be nice to myself. But when you read “chubby,” know that it really means “fat”).

And get this. The places that were just fine before are now boney and not in a good way. My collarbones jut out in a less than attractive manner, while my thighs jiggle with every movement and my butt is still as cottage-cheese looking as it ever was.

When I was demonstrating to Bill my boney shoulders and décolleté, he tried to act like he wasn’t grossed out, but I could see it in his strained smile. It’s not good, people.

I’ve never seen before-and-after weight-loss pictures where the girl goes from pear to bowling pin. I’m feeling a little ripped off.

But then I realize that I’m complaining about losing 30 pounds. When I was 30 pounds heavier, I would have punched someone complaining about this “problem” square in the face. So I’ll take my boney shoulders and shut up already.


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Yeah, I’ve chosen to accept the fact, that, short of a tummy-tuck, I’m not ever going to have the stomach I had before I had three boys in 4 years. Acceptance is the only solution to your problem. Be happy you’re healthy.

Did you ever read the “Princess Bride?”  In the book they talk about Buttercup attempting to make herself perfect and how one wrist was bonier than the other and so she worked to fatten up that wrist…a fairy tale moment that at some point we all wish we could replicate about some portion of ourselves…and yet, in the end, you’re right:  You should be SO proud about losing 30 pounds!

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