My little runaway

At lunch today, Jonas decided to run away from home.

We've had a rough Monday already which is entirely my fault for sleeping late. If anybody can't wait for summer vacation, it's me. I'm having a harder and harder time getting myself and three kids up, fed, clothed and lunchboxed every morning. I"m tired and burned out on the whole school thing.

So, I had to start bossing and hollering first thing this morning. I shout out commands like a staff sergeant. "Soren, get your shoes on!" "Marek, don't kick that dog." "Jonas, go get dressed." Nobody listens and I start to shout and pretty soon everybody is in the car, cranky and pissed off.

It sucks but that's just the way it is sometimes and usually we're all over it by the time we hit the first red light.

Not Jonas. Not this morning.

He was still mad when I picked him from school and he was going to make sure I knew it.

He started by just flat not doing what he was told. "Go get your nametag." Nope.

Hmmm — Christian people are watching. Can't beat him, better bribe him. 

"I'll let you do a special chore when we get home."

Nope.

And, that was about the end of that game. In no way am I going to kowtow to my child when he's acting like a total brat.

Momma was done.

That brought out this anger demon streak Jonas has. If there were an anger management class for preschoolers he'd be in it. He preceded to give me every single ultimatum in the 4-year-old handbook.

"If you don't let me do a special chore I'm never going to be nice to you again."

Done.

"If you don't let me I'm never going to walk into that house."

Fine. Stay out side.

Then he opened the front door and said, "If you don't let me do it, I'm going to just walk away and you'll never see me again." His face was red and streaked with tears.

So, go do it.

He walked to the edge of our property and stood by the road, not sure which way to go. I watched him out the front window and casually ate my lunch.

He came back and screamed at me again.

"Okay," I said, "but if the cops catch you they'll put you in an orphanage."

He grabbed Marek by the hand and said "Come on Marek, come live in the orphanage with me."

"NOOO!" screamed Marek.

Jonas ran away again but stood right on the edge of the property. A car drove by really slowly. He cowered, ran back into the house, jumped into my arms and said, "I'm so sorry mommy. I don't want to live in an orphanage. I love you and I'm not ever going to run away."

Mommy 1 — Jonas 0.

Yes!!!