New Kids (and Parents) on the Block

My oldest daughter started kindergarten on Monday. She marched through the school doors, weighed down by her pink backpack, ready to take on the world. In many ways, parents of kindergarteners have as much, if not more, to learn than their children. I've witnessed an array of parent types this week: Overprotective Parent: Their goodbyes run into overtime and they are often asked to leave the building, just as they are plotting ways to spy on their child through the classroom window. Project Management Parent: Equipped with enough nervous energy to map out every detail of their child’s back to school experience, they plan out their child’s lunches and wardrobe on Excel spreadsheets. Environmentally Conscious Parent: While you worry about petty things like the shortage of khaki jumpers in your daughter’s size, they ponder such lofty things as whether or not the school cafeteria should enter into a co-op program with local farmers. Family Historian Parent: This mom or dad snaps photo after digital photo of their child, typically holding a handmade sign for posterity, and shoots enough video for a documentary. Is She a Porn Star or Isn’t She Mama: This suburban housewife’s high heels, short skirts, and Bratz makeup make you question whether or not she does a little work on the side. Rah Rah Rah PTO Parent: Future volunteer parent of the year material, with enough enthusiasm to fundraise like a Trump. Somebody Needs a Time Out Parent: Lacking in anger management, this mom or dad is always irate at the school administration over something. All kidding aside, most parents have the same well intended concern over the well-being of their child. It’s our job to guide them and reassure them, even if we leave our video camera at home or don’t sell enough band booster tickets to meet quota.