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Resolution

By Robin Dearing
Awhile back, my band was scheduled to play two shows in Denver on the same day. We found ourselves at a bar in a strip mall in Littleton with several hours to kill until we played our second set. In order to amuse ourselves, we began playing a rather rowdy game of what we ultimately dubbed “Riveter pong.” It was like ping-pong only the object was not to score, but just to keep the ball in motion … at. all. costs. As a result, we would find ourselves hitting the ball with careless abandon. As one could imagine, the normally harmless, ping-pong ball turned into torture device for those unfortunate enough to be trying to play pool at the tables around us. We hit one guy with the ball several times. Each time, we’d genuinely apologize but then continue our reckless game. Finally, Bridgett, our good-conscienced drummer, said, “At some point, saying sorry just isn’t going to be enough.” I whine all the time that parenting is hard. And I’ve admitted that I’m kinda sucky at this whole “mom” thing. Some people have said that because I worry that I’m a bad mom means that I’m not. But honestly, I know that not true. Most people don’t see me at my worst — when I’m afire with anger or lost in sorrow, when I’m mean or careless. But just like the apologies for our transgressions during “Riveter pong,” I’ve come to realize that just saying I have sucky mom moments, just isn’t good enough anymore. So this year, I’ve resolved — and this isn’t just for this year, but for always — to never be complacent and always be striving to overcome my incendiary temper and my tendency to be selfish and “me”-centered. My other resolution for this year is to be nicer to everyone, myself included. So, I’ve been allowing myself more time for one of my favorite pastimes, which is reading. I wonder what it says about me that the books I’ve been reading lately are memoirs about people who have had crazy childhoods punctuated by equally crazy mothers: The Liar’s Club by Mary Karr The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls Running with Scissors by Augusten Burroughs

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