Things Nobody Told Us
By Lynn LickersMotherhood is nothing if not a learning experience. We thought we'd share with you the things we've learned since becoming mothers (and that nobody ever told us). We'd love to hear from you and what you've learned as well! Robin 1. There’s nothing to stop a baby from pooping in the bathtub. 2. White carpet should not be sold to people with children. 3. Parenting books are rarely useful, especially if you don’t read them. 4. If you laugh when your kids says a swear word, she’s likely to say it again and again. 5. No matter how badly your toddler wants to walk the dog, it’s never a good idea to tie the leash to her wrist. 6. A regular sleep schedule is essential to maintaining sanity. 7. Hearing the words, “I’m gonna frow up,? means that it•s already too late. 8. The Wiggles are way better than Barney (except for that narcoleptic guy – what’s his story?), but Baby Einstein rules. 9. Serving baby carrots with pizza makes a complete meal. 10. Parenting is so much harder than I ever imagined, but it’s so much better in so many ways that my life really began when my daughter was born. Lynn 1. Your child will only miss the bus and need a ride to school on days when you absolutely can not be late to work. 2. You will become the world’s best finder of all things lost. Including living things that crawl or slither and are found behind the toilet. 3. No matter how big your kid is getting, he will keep growing. And you will have to keep buying bigger shoes for him. Every three months. At sixty bucks a pop. 4. Your child will claim that he can’t hear you when you ask him to do chores, but he can hear you whisper gossip into the phone from two rooms away. 5. If there is more than one kid in the house and it’s quiet, something is likely to be very wrong. 6. Most teachers in school district #51 will not correct spelling. No matter what. You will have to take on that task by yourself. 7. Most teachers in school district #51 will assign math homework that is beyond your ability to be of any help with by the 3rd grade. You will have to deal with it by stressing that spelling homework is far more important than math homework. 8. When your teen-aged child tells you he is going to the store to buy eggs, toilet paper and whipped cream you can safely assume he is not planning to make dinner. 9. Through much trial and error you will eventually find a disciplinary technique that works. The fun part is in the trial. 10. Take advantage of any opportunity you can to hug and kiss your teenager, especially in public. They pretend to hate it. And it’s so cool to see them blush. Richie 1. Just stop and enjoy the moment because he’s already growing up so fast. 2. The dishes and housework can wait until after the baby goes to bed. 3. Toys are expensive! 4. The human body needs much less sleep than recommended. 5. Motherhood is the strongest emotion I’ve ever felt. I could never love anything more than my child. 6. I’ve learned how to be grateful. I have the most generous friends and family in the whole world. 7. It’s okay to cry right along with the baby if you feel like it. He’ll understand, he won’t tell anyone and you’ll both feel better. 8. Babies are the best excuse to loosen up, make faces, blow bubbles, and just be generally silly. After all these years of being told to STOP these things, it’s so refreshing to start up again. 9. Always give your husband credit and compliments especially in public and to his mother. 10. Everything you own is doomed to be destroyed in one way or another. Just accept this and you’ll be a lot happier. So, that's what we know! How about you?