Trying to Keep Up

Sometimes I feel like I’m running as fast as I can but I’m losing ground the whole way. The beginning of the teenage years took me totally by surprise. It seems like my son went from someone I knew to someone who had a complete personality transplant overnight. He was exactly where he should have been, I was about two years behind. Just when I think I’m catching up to the changes, he takes a giant leap forward and I’m waiting for the dust to clear again. Example One: Driving. This is a major milestone in a teenager’s life. It is a major cause of fear for every parent. Well, for me anyway. The words, “Mom, can I drive?” send a shudder through my body and my left eye starts to twitch. Just when I start to think I can deal with this (by keeping my eyes closed and praying the rosary) he starts telling me what car he wants to buy and asking if I’ll pay for his insurance. Example Two: Curfews. I consider myself a responsible parent. I ask “Where are you going, who else will be there, what time will you be back, do you need a ride, etc.” But every now and then I get tripped up and my son races out the door before I complete the third degree. This weekend he was at a birthday party up the road and called to ask if he could stay later. We agreed he could stay until 1:00 a.m. which I think is too late but there were still lots of kids there and they were watching a movie. At 1:04 when he wasn’t home and wasn’t answering his cell phone I started pacing the living room, sure he had been kidnapped, killed or was engaging in some illicit activity. Turns out it was none of the above. I think 1:00 a.m. is way too late, and I didn’t get the phone number of the house he went to, and didn’t discuss that ahead of time, but you can bet next time I’ll get all that. Example Three: Girls. I’ll never catch up to this one, so I’m not even going to try. Having just one kid means you don’t get another chance to do better with the second one. You can learn from your mistakes (not that I’ve made any) but you don’t get a do-over. Raising a teenager takes a lot of running just to stay in the game, let alone come out ahead. The key thing is, I keep telling myself, is to try and enjoy the journey.