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Typical American view of what the rest of the world calls football

By Robin Dearing

I need to thank Richie for keeping the Haute Mamas open this summer.

In the last month, we were in our friends' wedding, then drove to California to start the process of cleaning out my mom's house. Then we came back for my stepson's wedding, then we drove back to California to finish the process of cleaning out my mom's house. Oh and I sprained my ankle which I continue to reinjure every week or so. Just for fun.

Needless to say I'm completely drained. Now, I'm trying to regain my strength by watching as much of the Olympics as possible. I don't care what sport or who is playing, I'll watch. 

Actual conversations Bill and I have had while watching various Olympic soccer matches proving that we aren’t that bright:

Bill: Why do those dudes all look like chicks? Oh, it’s because they are French.

Me: They look like girls because it’s women’s soccer.

Bill: How do you know?


As a player writhes on the ground after getting kicked in her knee hyperextending it:
Bill: I would like this game more if they weren’t such fakers.


Bill: There’s only 30 seconds left.

Me: But the clock says 2:30.

Bill: The clock counts up.

Me: That’s just crazy. How can anyone understand that?


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That’s pretty funny stuff. Sounds like me and sports. So, not sporty.

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