What’s flying at your face?

So I’m sure many of you are wondering how I’m doing now that I don’t have an office job to keep me acting right weekdays from 8 to 5. The polite answer is: Just fine, thank you.

The realistic, Robin answer is: Crazy busy. Followed by: There are a lot of animals trying to fly into my head.

K, look, I know my head is huge (big head, big brain), but that’s no reason for birds and flying insects to fly into it constantly.

Last week on my way home from pilates (remind me to tell you how I park in the employee parking lot at my place of former employment a couple times a week to linger about), I called my mom to see if she needed anything. She said if I was driving along and a strawberry milkshake found its way into my car, she’s be happy to drink it.

When a woman with cancer suggests she’d drink a found milkshake, you find her a milkshake even if you have to take two sparrows to the head to get her one.

Being that I wanted to get home in time to pick up Margaret from school, I decided to forego any milkshake searching and instead just buy one from the drive-through at McDonald’s.

As I was trying to order, two fighting (or whatever) sparrow-like birds flew at my head and made me shriek into the speaker.

Luckily my screaming scared the birds away. Unluckily for the lady trying to take my order I screamed into the microphone. It went something like this:

Order-taking lady: Welcome to McCDonald’s. Order when you’re ready.

Me: I’d like a small, strawberry milkshake. ARRRRRRHHHHHH! Oh god, birds. The birds almost hit me in the head.

Order-taking lady: Is there anything else you’d like to order?

Me: No. Just the milkshake. Hold the birds.

‘the heck? Why are birds flying at my head while I’m inside my car?

Then today as I was eating my lunch on the back porch, a hummingbird flew at my head. Following shortly thereafter by a giant butterfly. Thankfully, there was no form of amplification, so only I got to enjoy the sounds of my freaked out shrieking.

Nature is nice and all, but Le Corbusier was right about keeping it at arm’s length.

Sheesh, birds never flew at my face while I was sitting at my desk at work. What have I done?