Presidents and The First Baptist Church of Karaoke…

February, 2011

Hello...

I have fond memories of Presidents Day. Dad would wake us, dressed as William Taft and Scream "American Sumo!” …and then challenge us kids to a grappling match. I was only 9...it was a challenge...my sister told him he was crazy…and my mom would just knock back a vodka and say sarcastically “William Taft? You couldn’t be a Kennedy or Reagan could you?”… He would also dress up as Betsy Ross and crochet Beanie Babies and fuchsia French Berets and sit in a rocking chair and sing Broadway tunes...yup...President's Day has a special place in my heart. My Memory is not so good.

President’s Day is also a great personal reminder of the only American Leaders I will probably ever see coming out of my wallet…’Washington’s’ and ‘Lincoln’s’ …I’d really rather see a statesman pop out of my pocket… “Why hello Mr. Benjamin!” More ‘Zeros’ on the ‘Dineros!’ And by the way…I think the Turkey would have made a fine fowl for our great country! What’s that you say? Go fly a kite? Electrifying!

Gas prices are up…I’m already missing the NFL and can’t wait until Baseball season. Please don’t tell me NASCAR Is a sport…so is bowling, Jenga and slow pitch softball. Although …there is nothing quite so entertaining as an out-a-shape 40 year-old man trying to lay down an illegal drag-bunt and hopping and humping his  way to first…trying not pull a hammy or trip over the first base bag. Even better…a beered-up shortstop trying to bend over to field a hot potato screaming his way and falling forward as the ball goes trickling into left field…I TAKE IT BACK~! Slow Pitch Softball is a Sport! and Bowling is a ‘Sportlette’…(not quite a sport but …you can enjoy a beer, a smoke and wear cool shoes…no different than a Disco…)

If you want REAL NASCAR Action…just head to your local quick change oil and lube place…you’ll get your fix of those high pitched drilly-things and men covered in oil…wearing jumpsuits, sporting 70’s Porn Mustaches and seeming a little creepy in a ‘car kinda’ way…or even better take your car to a Tire Place and challenge the guy to a lug-nut-off! Just grab the air gun and start taking off any lug nut you see…drop the tire and run to the nearest toolbox and then yell ...”16 Seconds! Damn I’m Good!” You can always apologize later… 

I’m hoping to bring southern charm here to the Western Slope with my First Baptist Church of the Karaoke…Song, Scripture and pass the offering plate…one parishioner …who signs up… at a time. I’d rather hear Sally Strickland from pew # 3 belting out her Gospel version of Prince’s ‘Little Red Corvette’ than some has been wanna-be, Gap Jean wearing, AXE Body Spray wearing, 40 year-old belting out some Rock & Religious song I’ve never heard of …with his eyes shut like he’s Really “feeling it!”
Sally or Gloria would do just fine and get the message across nicely…a little Led Zeppelin ‘Stairway to Heaven’ coming from Grandma would be refreshing don’t you think? I would put one of my Washington’s or maybe even a Lincoln in the Offering Plate…or even toss ‘em in the Tip Urn…

Random Thoughts:
- I liked (past tense) Operation Repo on TRU tv…Until I found out …that the incidents are not real at all…they are ‘REENACTMENTS ‘…That’s not TRU at all…I’m a little disappointed…They shoot it as REAL…They do put a disclaimer at the beginning of the show…I just noticed it the other day…DUH DAVE!

- Peanut Butter is called a Spread? You mean all these years I’ve been eating the Margarine of Peanut Butters? It’s not even all Peanuts? Son-of-a B&*$@#!
Come to Find out Jif and Skippy and Peter Pan are all shams! The only real nut is natural …and Tom Arnold... Mel Gibson is kind of Nutty, so is Robin Williams and Russell Crowe…Anyhoo It's Always Peanut Butter Jelly Time! Check out this Link...It'll make you laugh...or Dance?  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s8MDNFaGfT4 

Toodles for Now

Dave

Hey!
Check out my Latest Allgood News…You can here it on the Radio or just go to my Website. This week is about Kelly Murphy … She left her dysfunctional husband 6 years ago…taking her 7-month old daughter and what she could fit in the car…She did it because sometimes you have to break the chain and cycle of craziness…and now? She is the proud owner of a Habitat for Humanity Home…Her journey is one of Courage and Hope. Check it out on my Website…http://theallgoodnews.com