The lone asparagus
OK, it's not a superhero, but it is kind of funny, if you're into sad tales of horticultural failure. I planted asparagus three years ago. When I bought it, the accepted wisdom was not to pick it until its third year. So I've been waiting.
For this??? Really? One, really tall purple asparagus spear. And one small and twisted one near the ground.
I have another asparagus plant a couple feet away that also produced one asparagus spear so far this spring. Good thing I'm not a subsistence farmer. I'd starve to death.