Fat Tuesday, more like fat everyday. Am I right, am i right?
Listen, if you are looking to do some weekday partying to some local live music then the place to be tonight is Sabrosa. Check out the hardest working band in Grand Junction, Jack and Jill as they take the stage for Mardi Gras. Jack and Jill have played extensively around the area so you might be familiar with their work, but check this. Did you know that the band has a smartphone app? I know, incredible.
Celebrate you last chance to eat rich food, imbibe on your drink of choice, and generally make poor health decisions before you have to give it all up for Lent.
Sometimes I have to remind myself that I like music.
In a world where Maroon 5’s “Payphone,” a rotten, auto tuned, steaming pile of pop, can get nominated for a Grammy Award, I have to take a deep breath and remember that it will all be OK.
Even when it feels like I’m slowly suffocating under the genius lyric poetry of Adam Lavine, as he so eloquently captures life in 2013 by describing his use of a pay phone, I mustn’t try to get too worked up.
“I do like music. I do like music. I do like music.” It’s the meditative mantra I must repeat to transform myself into a calm, appreciative soul and not a raging Hulk monster. “Goe no call you maybe, no even from pay phone!”
Straight from the Grammy website: The awards are “to honor artistic achievement, technical proficiency, and overall excellence in the recording industry, without regard to album sales or chart position.” And in related news: “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn — Part 1” was a good movie because it won an MTV Movie Award.
The Grammys are supposed to be music’s biggest night. Instead, LMAFO will be there. The only “artistic achievement” those fools have given us is the Side Show Bob hair cut/plastic frame, no lens look.
The entire ceremony feels like a hollow shell. I should be excited about the live performances, but every time I tune in I get the distinct sense the whole night was created as an excuse to get a bunch of agalmatophiliacs in one room, drooling over each other to win a meaningless award on national TV.
Take a generic electronic house beat, throw some rap/sung lyrics about partying and drinking champagne on top and have a guest female vocalist sing the chorus and you’ve virtually created every chart topping Flo Rida song recorded since 2008.
I’d really like to know what makes “Wild Ones” so overly excellent and deserving of a nomination. Surely it can’t be because the album of the same name was certified platinum three times over? Nah. After all, album sales have nothing to do with it.
If the state of American culture lies within the lyrics of “Young, Wild & Free,” then I’d say our nation has some snacking to do. The entire Wiz Khalifa/Snoop Dogg joint, up for Best Rap Song, is an incredibly catchy ode to boozing and blazing a fat blunt. If the Grammys legitimizes this tune as a true work of artistic merit, then I say we make it the state song of Colorado. The lyrics are representative of our state’s chosen lifestyle, and, let’s not forget that “Rocky Mountain High” never got any love from the Recording Academy.
The Recording Academy claims to be this high-thinking, non-partial authority canonizing “America’s great cultural legacy” for generations to come. I’m sorry, but they lost credibility as a legitimate voice with musicians and fans when Al Walser got a Best Dance Recording nomination.
Who is Al Walser? Good question.
In a land of dance giants such as Avicii and Skrillex, Walser is a key-tar playing gnat. I honestly can’t tell if his song “I Can’t Live Without You” is a serious effort or if it is an annoying joke parody of dance music. One listen is enough to make you wish you were deaf.
Walser is a cheesy, soulless male version of Rebecca Black, only less talented.
A Walser win would be proof beyond a reasonable doubt that the Grammys are music’s biggest fraud.
Deep breath, “I do like music. I do like music. I do like music.”
So now that CBS has issued a memo to all Grammy Award attendees asking that "buttocks and female breasts are adequately covered" and warning that "see-through clothing," exposure of "the genital region" and "thong type costumes" are problematic, there's pretty much no reason to tune into Sunday's broadcast, save one. What's going to happen with Colorado's most precious commodity the Lumineers?
The Lumineers are nominated for two Grammy awards this year, Best New Artist and Best Americana Album. They probably have the best shot in the Best Americana Album category but who knows for sure. Either way the band recently dropped its follow up to their monster hit "Ho Hey." Check out "Stubborn Love" and see what you think.
Also don't forget to check out my full Grammy preview in tomorrow's Out and About. It's a doozie.
As strange and delicious music news goes, this story is takes the cake. Moving on from a giant edible gummy skull made to taste like pot, The Flaming Lips are set to release anatomically correct chocolate hearts, and instead of creamy ganache centers, each heart will contain a USB mix of music called "Songs of Love." One of the included tracks is a cover of The Beatles classic "All You Need Is Love" featuring Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros.
Many musicians talk about music and how it part of them, like an extra appendage. The Flaming Lips seem to take that idea one, if not 100, steps further. The band is no stranger to general oddity. As mentioned before they've released music in other edible body forms including skulls, vaginas and fetuses. Wayne Coyne, the bands lead singer, once used a vial of his own blood to screen print band posters.
The chocolate hearts are already sold out but that doesn't mean you still can't enjoy the band's sweet music. Go buy a chocolate bar and have a listen to "All You Need Is Love."