A bit closer to home ...

Today's column: Newcomers, flatlanders and legislators often have difficulty distinguishing between the various parts of Colorado. It’s actually easier than they might think. On one side of the state, the big educational issue is how a district can stretch its limited number of employees over more than one school to meet as many needs as possible under a Spartan budget. On the other side of the state, the big fight is over whether schools should freely hand out condoms to students. Leaving aside the issue of exactly what happens during study hall in the latter district, the big question is: Where do these districts sit in relation to one another? Too easy? Or too hard? Well then, here’s another question to ponder: Which district is slammed, battling growth problems related to one of the state’s biggest industries? Said industry, by the way, pumps millions of dollars into the Colorado economy. Got the answers yet? Well, the district that is battling with the staffing issues is the one in the heart of the energy boom, Garfield County Re-2. Denver Public Schools is the one that’s fixated on sex. Garfield County Re-2, the one on the west side of the Continental Divide, is doing what it can, given the mandates of a budget dictated from afar, more than 100 miles from the state Capitol. The Garfield budget is dictated from afar because afar is where the votes are. And those votes are cast by a band of legislators who like having their rich uncle working in Colorado, but would never admit to being related to the old geezer just because he has something of a cauliflower nose and emits the occasional whiff of B.O. Oh, but the money. They really want the money. So there really are two Colorados: one that pumps money into the state coffers to the point that local needs are neglected, and it sees nothing coming back; and then there’s the other side, the one that simply can’t get over the idea that being green means getting more of it. Unless it’s thirsty, but that’s a different, though not unrelated, question. At any rate, the Garfield district will split six positions among two schools, including the librarian, PE teacher, counselor, a health clerk and a few other positions. Denver Public Schools is looking to dispense condoms from well-appointed health centers in its high schools. Silly taxpayers might have thought that a district in energy country — where U.S. senators are fighting over how to dispense tens of millions of dollars from drawing natural gas out from beneath federal lands — would be the one rolling in money. And isn’t this the same state that passed Referendum C to pump billions in new cash into state coffers for, among other things, schools? Denver Public Schools isn’t to be entirely faulted. The district has agreed to experiment with two schools that will be more free than others in their hiring, staffing and scheduling practices. Some day, that experiment might pay off on the west side of the Continental Divide. For now though, while Garfield economizes, DPS is getting ready to condomize.