Time to Get Serious
Despite making what I thought was a very valiant and quite public plea to summon snow two weeks ago, absolutely diddly-squat has happened. The Grand Mesa is reporting a not so grand snowpack somewhere between 3 and 4 inches and the webcam at Powderhorn is looking a little brown. Grass skiing anyone? (When running a spell and grammar check ‘grass skiing’ results in ‘verb confusion -consider revising’. I am evidently not the only one who thinks the lack of snow is downright wrong). Before we get too despondent, let’s take ourselves back to last winter. In the end it was one for the record books with unprecedented snowfall. But it was as dry as the Sahara desert until the first week in December when it started dumping and didn’t stop. Coincidentally, or perhaps not, the magic white stuff made its appearance the day I headed to the southern hemisphere for six weeks. A possible correlation between these events has me deeply concerned. I have no plans to go anywhere this winter, least of all to the other side of the world. This potentially season wrecking inaction has not escaped the notice of my ‘friends’ who are begging me to leave the country. Don’t get me wrong - I would love to go back to New Zealand but this winter I really want to stay in Colorado and ski. At this juncture, I feel that some serious action is needed. So this past week I have dedicated my life to building a shrine to Ullr, the Nordic God of archery, hunting and skiing, the latter of course being the most important. Even without the plastic boots and fat skis of modern times, Ullr was reportedly an accomplished skier. Like us, he was a lover of fresh deep powder and he spent his days shredding the backcountry. He was the man! This weekend, a pilgrimage to my shrine will take place. Upon reaching the shrine the pilgrims will participate in an event of worship (aka party) in honor of our beloved and highly esteemed Ullr. It is a universal belief that the bigger and better the celebration the greater the resulting snow fall. You can be sure I am going to give it my finest effort. And I am asking you all to do the same. I hereby call upon every man, woman and child to join me in summoning snow and soon we will be basking in the glory of Ullr!
Now a footnote and point of clarification, for those who don’t participate in snow dependent activities. The fact that you don’t like snow should not preclude you for partaking in any Ullr worship. We are praying for snow in the mountains, not the valley. I am quite happy for you all to have the local trails nice and dry for your mountain biking, as long as it dumps up high and you pray along with me. Thank you.