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Half-witticisms

By Debra Dobbins

The “glass half-full or half-empty” idiom means whether one views a situation as positive or negative.

David Ball, a writer who hails from Sydney, Australia, has compiled some fine jokes on this idiom. Here are a few of my favorites:

“The optimist says: ‘The glass is half-full.’ The pessimist says: ‘The glass is half-empty.’ And while they are arguing, the pragmatist takes the glass and drinks it.”

“The grammarian says that while the terms half-full and half-empty are colloquially acceptable the glass can technically be neither since both full and empty are absolute states and therefore are incapable of being halved or modified in any way.”

“The research scientist says that following initial observation and testing a working hypothesis for further research is: ‘The glass is both half full and half empty,’ and that these findings warrant further investigation with a more representative sample of glasses and contents, which may or may not be liquid.”

“The actor says, ‘Whatever the director wants it to be - or not to be...’”

“The magician will show you the glass with the full half at the top.”

For more, head to http://unsourcedhumor.blogspot.com/2012/11/glass-half-full.html

Photo special to the Sentinel
 

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