Cosmo quiz: Find out if you’re Ms. Ideal or Mr. Dreamy
You read Cosmopolitan magazine for the articles, or so you told inquisitive parents.
And there may have been a hint of truth in that, but for years, many issues of the fashion, fitness, fun and flirty magazine were purchased for that quiz.
It was only a few questions, but in those few questions women of all ages — high-school girls on a bus bound for a basketball game or single women in their 50s — could learn if they were terrible friends, man magnets or fashion flops.
According to Cosmopolitan.com, the magazine is “the lifestylist for millions of fun, fearless females who want to be the best they can in every area of their lives.”
Whew. Thank you, Cosmo.
The woman largely credited for creating this sense that women are free to be powerful, sexual and fashionable but still in need of a man was Helen Gurley Brown, Cosmopolitan’s editor from 1965 to 1997.
Her recent death inspired this version of “The Cosmo Quiz.” And, to be fair, we’ve included a quiz for guys because they shouldn’t miss out on the enlightenment of a Cosmo quiz.
(Reporter’s note: There comes a time in every woman’s life when she realizes Cosmo quizzes are not the definitive word on, well, anything, because we all aren’t jaded 20-somethings living in a 150-square-foot Manhattan apartment. If you have not yet accepted that these quizzes are more funny than fact, your time to accept that is now.)
Are You An Ideal Girlfriend?
1. You accidentally left your iPod in your ex-boyfriend’s car. You?
a. Immediately drive over to his house and break into his car. You’ll use a bat if necessary.
b. Give him a call and tell him you want your iPod back. You’ll meet him at a coffee shop before work. You’ll switch him a latte for your iPod.
c. Save up to get a new one. As if you’d call that jerk.
2. His family has a Thanksgiving tradition of turkey then the NFL. You are a vegetarian and hate football. What do you do?
a. Pass on meeting his family. You aren’t going to pretend to like turkey and football for any guy.
b. Agree to go. You’ll just pass the turkey and enjoy time with his family. No big deal. Plus, there’s a book you’ve been wanting to read, and now you have an excuse.
c. Polish off a bottle of wine before dinner then talk about how disgusting meat is.
3. Your boyfriend compliments you on the way you look. You?
a. Thank him and return the favor.
b. Laugh. Of course, you look good. It took two hours to get ready.
c. Yell at him for thinking you’re fat because that’s probably what he was thinking.
4. Your boyfriend of six months calls to cancel a date because he’s sick and just wants to stay home alone. You?
a. Hang up on him and immediately call your friends to make other plans. You’re not sitting home on a Saturday night.
b. Immediately drive over to his house and circle the block several times to see if he’s telling the truth or if someone else is coming over.
c. Wish him a speedy recovery and tell him to call when he’s feeling better.
5. It’s your third date. You decide on a quiet night in. You?
a. Use the one-on-one time to ask him to define the relationship.
b. Spend all night on Pinterest, Facebook and your cell.
c. Get ingredients for homemade pizza and rent that comedy you both wanted to see.
SCORING: 1. a-2, b-0, c-1; 2. a-1, b-0, c-2; 3. a-0, b-1, c-2; 4. a-1, b-2, c-0; 5. a-2, b-1, c-0.
0 TO 3 POINTS
You’ll find the perfect guy. In the meantime, enjoy being the ideal combination of Holly Golightly, Mary Ann from “Gilligan’s Island” and actress Zooey Deschanel.
4 TO 6 POINTS
You would be a great catch, if a guy could reel you in. You are a lot to tackle, and some guys love that mystery until they tire of your high-maintenance, self-centered life. A man wants to fit into your life, not be a spectator. (See: Kardashian, Kim.)
7 TO 10 POINTS
Some people have baggage. You have a seven-piece Louis Vuitton set with a trunk and pet carrier. Your drama and low self-confidence makes you less than ideal. Guys want a girlfriend. They don’t want to be your therapist.
Are You Really a Dream Boyfriend?
1. The alarm clock goes off at 6:30 a.m. It’s time for your exercise routine. You?
a. You’re already up. Time to hit the gym for an extra workout before you see your personal trainer. You can’t wait to see your biceps in that too tight T-shirt.
b. You want to hit snooze but don’t. Your health is important, and your physique is part of that. You throw on baggy shorts and a T-shirt and head out the door.
c. You can’t be bothered with exercise. You need to watch SportsCenter reruns.
2. You are out shopping for some new work clothes. Where do you go?
a. Wherever the men’s magazines you subscribe to suggest you go to get exactly what they suggest you buy.
b. You’ve been “in-between” jobs for a couple years.
c. Places with affordable, wrinkle-free clothing. You want to look professional and put together but don’t want to break the bank, or an iron, to accomplish it.
3. It’s your mother’s birthday. What do you get her, and when do you call?
a. She gets a hug, but there’s no need to call. You live with her.
b. She gets a gift certificate to her fav restaurant. You call at lunch and remind her to go out and let someone else do the dishes.
c. She gets $50 cash because you have no time to think about it, but you call bright and early to be the first sibling to call.
4. You’ve been seeing a woman for several months. She wants to know how many serious relationships you’ve been in and if you talk to any of your ex’s. You tell her?
a. You’ve had a couple serious relationships, but they just didn’t work out. You don’t have any of your ex-girlfriends’ phone numbers, but you are civil when you see them out in public.
b. None. Oddly enough, most ladies bail when you take them back to your place and your parents are downstairs playing cards.
c. None. If the relationships were serious they wouldn’t have ended, but it was never your fault.
5. You’ve been dating a woman for one month. As they say on ABC’s “The Bachelor,” “There’s an amazing connection.” She wants you to be exclusive. You?
a. Laugh. It’s been a month.
b. Shrug. Fine. Whatever.
c. Agree. You’ve been thinking the same thing. You don’t want to see anyone else, anyway.
SCORING: 1. a-1, b-O, c-2; 2. a-1, b-2, c-0; 3. a-2, b-0, c-1; 4. a-0, b-2, c-1; 5. a-1, b-2, c-0.
0 TO 3 POINTS
A Jane Austen Leading Man
You are a catch. Have patience. Don’t worry, you are a Mr. Darcy and one day you’ll find your Elizabeth Bennet.
4 To 6 POINTS
Table For Two?
You would be a great guy to date, if the person dating you was YOU. You have a high opinion of yourself, and that may attract women initially, but not for the long haul. As NFL wide receiver Terrell Owens once said, “You don’t want me to shine, but I’ma (sic) shine anyway. Cause I love me some me ...”
7 To 10 POINTS
You’re an adult. There’s a difference between loving your mother and living with her. Women want a confident, attractive, sweet and ambitious man, so don’t be surprised that the opposite sex isn’t pounding down your door.