On road to becoming, don’t forget to just be
As I was out last weekend, I ended up at a restaurant where one of my clients was performing with her band. She’s the lead singer in a couple of local groups, joining with various musicians to perform at different venues.
As Caitlyn walked in for our coaching session a few days later, I said, “Hey, rock star!” and she smiled.
“ I’m not a rock star,” she replied. “I just love music.”
“ I can tell,” I said. “You were so alive when I saw you on Saturday, almost like you were a different person. Even though we’ve talked about your love for music, I didn’t realize you could sing like that!”
“There is nothing like the feeling of being on stage, looking out at the audience and singing my heart out,” Caitlyn said. “I can’t explain what comes over me when I pick up my guitar and step up to the microphone. It’s magic!”
Caitlyn radiated as she spoke about performing. I could tell music was one of her passions.
“You said you perform with your band as a side job,” I said. “What dreams do you have about performing music?”
“Ever since I was younger, I wanted to be a professional singer,” Caitlyn said. “I’ve always wanted to be up on stage with the lights shining in my face, my band behind me and singing for lots of people. I want people to be engaged and moved by my music. I want to touch their hearts with the lyrics and their souls with the music.” She paused and smiled. “Does that sound too far out there?”
“Does it sound far out to you?” I asked.
“ It seems like a pipe dream to me,” Caitlyn said. “I want to become that person so bad, but I’m not sure it will ever happen.”
“Tell me more about ‘that’ person,” I said.
“She’s a singer, up in front of crowds, touching people with her music and her words, giving them something their hearts long for,” Caitlyn said. “People contact her to schedule performances and pay her to entertain and share her gifts.”
“How is that different from what’s happening right now?” I asked.
She thought about it for moment. “It’s not different,” she said. “All of that is happening right now.
I guess I wasn’t realizing how much of that is already in place. I was so focused on becoming, that I was forgetting to realize what I am and just be.”
“What would it look like to just be?” I asked.
“ I’d be aware of my larger goals, but realize that what’s happening now is important, too.
Instead of being so focused on becoming, I’d realize that I already am.”
“ What could you put in place to help remind you of this?” I asked.
“I’ll put a note above my desk that says, “ ‘I focus on both becoming and on being to remind me to stay present.’ ”
She agreed to hang the sign that evening and had clearly taken a step forward.
Coaching Challenge: What is your dream? If you could do anything with your life, what would you do? Tell a close friend or write down a description of how this would look and feel in your life. Let your imagination go wild as though anything is possible. How is this already in your life?
Sometimes we look so far ahead trying to “become,” not acknowledging all that we already are.
Sheri Fisher is a life coach in Grand Junction. The situations and characters in her column have been altered in order to maintain client confidentiality. Go to coachwithsheri.com for more information.