The mysteries of Easter

Christmas is the most anticipated holiday, Valentine’s Day is the most romantic, and Easter is the most mysterious.

Easter is shrouded in questions, some of them have answers, some of them do not.

One of the greatest mysteries of Easter is the mystery of my favorite Easter candy, the Reese’s Peanut Butter Egg.

Why does it taste so much better than the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup?

They are made by the same company. They are both made with peanut butter and chocolate, so why the difference? Is it the egg shape? Who knows?

Then, there is the mystery of how to boil Easter eggs.

Why is it that I can never remember how to boil a simple egg? Do I put the egg in before or after the water boils? What about salt? Do I add salt to water?

I remember that there is some trick to avoid turning the yolk gray. Something about putting the egg in while the water is cold and then shutting off the heat after the water has come to a full boil and leaving the egg in the water for exactly 11 minutes. Or was it 15? I can never remember.

Not mysterious enough?

Then here’s another one.

Why do they put only one metal egg dipper in an Easter egg coloring kit?

Don’t they know that the average number of people in an American family is 2.5? Why not 2.5 dippers per box? Because that’s how they get ya, that’s why!

If you want 2.5 of those ingeniously designed egg dippers, you’re going to have to buy 2.5 boxes of egg coloring. And you know you have to, because spoons just don’t work as well. You just can’t dye eggs without those dippers.

Here is something you can do without: that annoying, green, fake grass that goes in the Easter baskets.

That stuff gets everywhere. Somehow it gets into every corner of the house. It’s in the sofa cushions, the pantry, hairbrushes and even in the lint trap of the dryer.

It takes me until Independence Day to completely eradicate the Easter grass from my house.

Speaking of Independence Day, every year we know that Independence Day will be on the Fourth of July, no fail.

But, Easter changes from year to year. Why is that?

This is a mystery that actually has an answer, a complicated one, but an answer all the same.

According to the user-written online encyclopedia, “Easter falls at some point between late March and late April each year, following the cycle of the moon. After several centuries of disagreement, all churches accepted the computation of the Alexandrian Church, now the Coptic church, that Easter is the first Sunday after the first 14th day of the moon (the Paschal full moon) that is on or after March 21st (the ecclesiastical spring, or vernal, equinox) ...”

Clear as egg yolk?

Although Easter Sunday changes from year to year, I never miss watching the movie “The Ten Commandments.”

What is the mystery in that?

It is this: How is it that year after year Yul Brynner, as the Pharaoh of Egypt, just keeps getting sexier and sexier?

I love it when he says, “Moses and the Hebrews think they can out-wise my fathah.”

Clutch your pearls and swoon with me, Ladies.

Oh yes, there are many things that are mysterious about Easter, but probably the biggest mystery of all is why the Easter Bunny brings eggs? Bunnies don’t lay eggs, chickens do.

How does the bunny get the eggs from the chicken, anyway? Does the chicken know the bunny is taking the eggs?

Maybe the chicken should deliver her own eggs. Or maybe this is just one of those mysteries that are best left alone.

“So let it be written, so let it be done.”

Well said, Mr. Brynner. (Swoon).

For more on an unpredictable variety of other topics, visit Annie Payne’s “Anniethology” blog online at


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