What did your father teach you about ...

By Rachel Sauer
Saturday, June 16, 2012

Fathers carry responsibility.

From the moment their children enter the world, fathers begin loving and caring and teaching. How their children walk through life, how they treat others, how they treat themselves — a heavy portion of that burden rests on a father’s shoulders.

So, fathers teach. The lessons they give their daughters and sons are vital, but particularly their sons. They teach their sons how to become men.

We asked some Grand Junction men to recall the lessons their fathers taught them about various stepping stones on the path to manhood.

...being a gentleman?

“Someday you will want that girl’s respect, son.”

— Chad Kennard, 37

“Ladies were to be respected, honored for who they are in society and protected. I was taught to hold the door open for them, let them go first and never be mean to girls. Girls were never to be hit, no matter if a girl hit you first.”

— Glenn Lewis, 68

 

“Take your hat off in the house.”

— Ed Frost, 82

 

“Always say yes, sir/no, sir and yes, ma’am/no, ma’am. Always open the door for people, especially women. Always take your hat off in the building, during prayer and for our veterans.”

— Paul Lloyd Melson Jr., 22

 

“Watch me, and do what I do — he led by example.”

— Harmond Leonard, 92

 

“Always! My dad respects others more than anyone I know and it’s been the honor of my life to be associated with that as his son! It’s one of the driving foundations of my life.”

— Ben Miller, 34

 

“Be nice to everyone you meet.”

— Chuck Roth, 90

 

“Treat women with respect.”

— Dale Williams, 82

 

“Always be at your best because you never know who is watching. Open doors for the ladies, use ‘sir’ or ‘ma’am’ often and mind your manners.”

— Tim Frasier, 58

 

... shaving?

“He used a straight razor and he taught me how, even though I never had much of a beard. I still have the razor.”

— Ed Frost

 

“My dad would let me use his razor handle — no blades — and some shaving cream. I loved it.”

— Ben Miller

 

“Always clean the razor after you shave.”

— Dale Williams

 

“Tear some toilet paper into tiny squares and place them wherever you see blood.”

— Chad Kennard

 

“A clean face is a form of tidiness. Always keep facial hair at a minimum, even on days off from work.”

— Tim Frasier

 

“To get a clean shave, use a hand-held and shave with the hair. After going with the hair, go against it to make it smooth.”

— Paul Lloyd Melson Jr.

 

...tying a tie?

“As a coach, my dad would demonstrate, demonstrate, demonstrate and then critique the fundamentals. I now tie a great tie!”

— Ben Miller

 

“If you don’t want to tie a tie, get a bow tie. Or a bolo.”

— Chuck Roth

 

“Tie a half-Windsor if you’re in a hurry.”

— Tim Frasier

 

...taking responsibility?

“Own up to it, or pay it back ten-fold.”

— Chad Kennard

 

“The theme of our relationship when I was a teenager. I’m strong-willed and it was never my fault!”

— Ben Miller

 

“The first time might not be your fault, but the second time is.”

— Ralph Krueger, 87

 

“I learned to work at a young age, and it was OK to make a mistake, but I was to work, learn and keep trying to become better at whatever I was doing or learning. I was taught work was something you did because it was expected of you, work was good for you, and I could be proud of what I was doing. I was taught I could do whatever I wanted to do.”

— Glenn Lewis

 

“Stand up for your obligations.”

— Dale Williams

 

“Anything you’ve started or done, bad or good, own up to your responsibility. If you mess up, fix it. If you borrow something, bring it back better than when you received it.”

— Paul Lloyd Melson Jr.

...being honest?

“Or else.”

— Chad Kennard

 

“I never caught him lying.”

— Orville Boge, 84

 

“Honesty is the best policy because you shouldn’t have to remember what you said.”

— Chuck Roth

 

“Having never caught your dad in a lie is a pretty strong example, and a high standard to live up to.”

— Ben Miller

 

“Dad always said his word was his bond, and he lived by that belief. He said if a man didn’t have the respect and trust of others, life wasn’t any good. He always told me if I gave someone my word, I was to follow through with whatever I had said or promised.”

— Glenn Lewis

 

“If you can’t speak the truth, keep your mouth shut!”

— Tim Frasier

 

“There was no question. You have to be honest or pay the price.”

— Ed Frost

 

“A real or true man has no reason to lie, so to be honest to everyone is being a man. Stand your ground for what you believe.”

— Paul Lloyd Melson Jr.

 

“Tell the truth, and if you don’t you are in big trouble.”

— Harmond Leonard

 

...using tools?

“Take care of them — if you don’t, they won’t take care of you. Also, a hammer and chisel are better than two rocks.”

— Chuck Roth

 

“Keep them clean and in good condition so they are ready when you need them. If you borrow a tool, return it in better condition than when you borrowed it. If you break it, replace it!”

— Tim Frasier

 

“When you get through, put them away.”

— Harmond Leonard

 

“I remember working on our Land Cruiser. Dad would place me in the engine compartment to help him.”

— Ben Miller

 

“Watch your fingers and measure twice, cut once.”

— Chad Kennard

 

“If you can’t find something, make it yourself.”

— Ralph Krueger

 

“Be safe and know what you’re doing before you do it.”

— Ed Frost

 

 

...giving a handshake?

“It’s the most important way to start a friendship.”

— Dale Williams

“Firm but not bone-crushing, and keep eye contact. No one wants to shake hands with a limp noodle.”

— Tim Frasier

 

“Show your strength.”

— Chad Kennard

 

“Make it firm, but be respectful and a gentleman.”

— Paul Lloyd Melson Jr.

 

“I was taught to look a person in the eye when being spoken to, and reply in a strong voice when speaking and give a strong, firm handshake.”

— Glenn Lewis

 

“Firm, sunk deep!”

— Ben Miller

 

“Always with your right hand.”

— Harmond Leonard

...cooking meat?

“Don’t burn it, and make sure the chicken is cooked to the bone.”

— Chad Kennard

 

“You only flip a steak once!”

— Ben Miller

 

“Cook a steak ‘til the ‘moo’ is gone.”

— Tim Frasier

 

“We butchered our meat and he taught us how to can the meat.”

— Ed Frost

 

“Keep it cold. Kill it, skin it, then keep it cold.”

— Chuck Roth

...building a fire?

“One match. Only one.”

— Ben Miller

 

“Always make sure you have it under control and cut your wood in the winter because a frozen tree is easier to cut.”

— Chuck Roth

 

“Always have water available.”

— Dale Williams

 

...talking to girls or women?

“Always be a gentleman and treat them all like ladies.”

— Ed Frost

 

“Find a woman that lives near her family or spend every vacation visiting them.”

— Chad Kennard

 

“Leave them alone.”

— Chuck Roth

 

“Always be polite, treat women equally and be kind.”

— Paul Lloyd Melson Jr.

 

“Avoid it.”

— Orville Boge

...making decisions?

“He said I had to face facts, take responsibility and get ‘it’ done, whatever ‘it’ was.”

— Glenn Lewis

 

“Make the decision and stick to it. If the decision was wrong, always beg for forgiveness.”

— Tim Frasier

 

“Follow your gut and use common sense.”

— Paul Lloyd Melson Jr.

 

“Make decisions if you are reasonably sure that you are right.”

— Dale Williams

 

“Think with your head.”

— Chad Kennard

...driving?

“I started on the tractor at age 12, then in the pickup on dirt roads. He started me on downhill grades.”

— Ben Miller

 

“Going downhill, you can shift down to slow the vehicle. Shift when the RPMs are at 1500.”

— Paul Lloyd Melson Jr.

 

“Look down the road, but always know what is coming up behind you.”

— Chad Kennard

 

“I began driving while sitting on dad’s lap on the country roads between Guernsey and Sunrise, Wyo. When I could reach the pedals I was then allowed to ‘drive’ on that same road, while he sat beside me.”

— Glenn Lewis

...understanding loss?

“Loss is a part of life. Think about it for a while, then file it away. Tomorrow will be a better day.”

— Tim Frasier

 

“Always be kind to any person who suffers a loss.”

— Dale Williams

...fixing things?

“He could fix anything. I learned by watching him.”

— Orville Boge

 

“Better than buying new.”

— Ben Miller

 

“There is a variety of tools I can use to fix a variety of things, but the best tool to use to fix things is duct tape.”

— Paul Lloyd Melson Jr.

 

 

“Always expect a job to take more

 

time than you planned.”

— Chad Kennard

 

“Don’t attempt to fix things that aren’t broken.”

— Dale Williams

 

...handling fear?

“Embrace it. Fear will form who you are as a person. Know what it is, but don’t be terrified of it.”

— Paul Lloyd Melson Jr.

 

“Meet fear head-on. The unimportant will take care of itself.”

— Tim Frasier

 

“Stand your ground.”

— Chad Kennard

 

“Be aware that every person is afraid of fear.”

— Dale Williams

 

“My dad is great at context. He can put anything into context, which I do with fear.”

— Ben Miller

 

“Dad always was strong-willed and had a quiet authority about his mannerisms. He always said there is a way to get something done; I just had to figure it out and do it.”

— Glenn Lewis