‘Agvocate’ spoofs idol Bieber on YouTube

Jessica Milstein and an unidentified friend appear in a video Milstein made for an entry in the Colorado Farm Bureau’s video contest. In the video, Milstein adapts Justin Bieber’s hit, “Boyfriend,” with lyrics such as “If I was your farmer, I’d never let you starve.”

Jessica Milstein is no hater, Justin Bieber.

Call Milstein an “agvocate” instead.

Milstein, who confesses to being more attuned to the likes of Blake Shelton than Bieber, borrowed Bieber’s “Boyfriend” hit and adapted it to a video in which she and other Colorado State University students remind people that there is plenty of charm on the farm.

Even though she considers herself “pretty well versed on culture, I would never have thought that I would have done a song to Justin Bieber’s ‘Boyfriend,’” Milstein said from her home in Hotchkiss, where she spent Thanksgiving vacation.

“If I was your farmer I’d never let you starve,” go the lyrics that she belts out while clambering about a combine on a Fort Collins farm, “I’d feed you all your protein, calcium and carbs.”

Yes, there’s more, delivered while dancing on a Deere:

“I could be conventional – anything you want

If I was your farmer, I’d never let you starve.”

To be sure, Milstein said, it was a friend who drew her attention to Bieber’s song when students were looking for a way to feed the reality of farming to a woefully malnourished public via the CSU Collegiate Farm Bureau’s entry in the Colorado Farm Bureau’s video contest.

“We wanted to touch the general public and let them know their food doesn’t come from the grocery store,” Milstein said.

So while Bieber features doe-eyed dancers, Milstein’s “Farmer” relies on wide-eyed calves and waving cornstalks. Down-filled vests and flannel shirts are the norm in the agricultural offering, which can be found on YouTube and on the web pages of the Colorado Livestock Association and the Colorado Department of Agriculture.

The contest took its cue from Peterson Farm Bros. of Kansas which parodied LMFAO’s “I’m Sexy and I Know it” to produce “I’m Farming and I Grow It.”

Milstein, who graduated from Hotchkiss High School, is attending CSU on a full-ride scholarship and is hoping to teach agriculture in high school or go on to graduate school.

“We’ll see where next year takes me,” she said.


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