Are you ‘plush enough’ for airport work?
The Denali package? Really?
Damn! I wish they’d had that on the trucks I rode in for two post-high school summers back when I was planting signs, putting in cattle guards and pounding spikes into wooden bridge decks for Art Garber at the Mesa County Road Department. Or drove during that summer between college terms spent working for Ron Tipping at Corn Construction paving the road up the Grand Mesa.
“Work trucks” seem to have come a long way since those supposedly good old days when men were men and kids learning to be men endured rubber mats, stiff vinyl bench seats, manual transmissions, “armstrong steering” and “climate control” activated by rolling windows up or down, opening or closing a vent, or firing up an anemic but noisy heater.
Those were all features on the old GMC flatbed we used to stick into compound low and let idle, driverless, down irrigation rows while bucking bales of alfalfa for my grandfather and uncle out on 21 Road. I think Mom’s cattleman brother ordered it from the Fuoco’s back in 1953 with the “BS” package, which did include an AM radio.
Out at The Airport Formerly Known As Walker Field, the Airport Authority board (Motto: “It’s not our fault”) last week sold back to Fuoco Motors for $147,000 three highest-of-the-high-end 2014 GMC Denali pickups found to be “impractical for everyday use.”
They may spend the money for something a little more useful. Assuming, I guess, they find that needed new mower in Sonoma Red Metallic.
The Denali package offered by GMC is a dream most often realized by upper income “ladies who lunch” and image-conscious docs, lawyers and real estate agents whose bank accounts can’t quite stretch to Escalade range. Out in the oil and gas fields and on construction sites, it’s seen occasionally on a “boss’s truck.” With 4WD, it makes a comfy “mall crawler.”
The rest of us make do with cloth or vinyl instead of plush heated and cooled perforated leather. (We boomers still mourn all those Naugas that were sacrificed for Naugahyde upholstery in the 1960s and 1970s.) We struggle on, somehow, without heated steering wheels, built-in navigation (perhaps to avoid bumping into that inconspicuous black “wildlife” fence?) or 8-inch video screens to keep us entertained and informed.
“The 2015 Sierra 2500 Denali HD lets you set your information your way, and delivers the data you need at a glance,” according to GMC’s website. It’s a feature called, ironically, “IntelliLink.”
Is one of the data choices “common sense?”
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“Don’t you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you can repeat words! And they don’t even have to be true.”
— Dave Barry, columnist
It’s time for a few catch-up mea culpas.
Yes, despite last week’s column which confused national and state political realities, I do know the Colorado House is not controlled by Republicans but by Democrats. But it’s still clear GOP lawmakers, party leaders and candidates see no political upside to helping Gov. John Hickenlooper broker compromise legislation to avert the impending multimillion-dollar ballot battle over local control of some oil and gas activities.
Apologies also for, a few weeks back, tarring write-in sheriff candidate Benita Phillips with the label of Democrat. A longtime Republican, she remains unencumbered by any professional law enforcement experience. I’ll continue to expect nurses at my doctors’ offices and in hospitals and hope actual cops keep me safe and toeing a straighter and narrower line than, to belabor the obvious, Steve King.
My column on the Grand Junction City Council’s consideration of expanding the city sale tax to include food prompted a response from city communications manager Sam Rainguet. She’s right and I was wrong. Most local governments do tax food.
A good many don’t, including Collbran, DeBeque, Fruita, Palisade, Grand Junction (at least for now) and Mesa County. I’ll be flabbergasted if Grand Junction voters ever approve a food tax. But if they do, here’s a new motto.
“Grand Junction: Still no recreation center (or downtown splash pad) … but we do have a food tax.”