You Said It, Dec. 25, 2016

Editor’s note: Throughout the year the You Said It editor gets submissions that run the gamut from funny to grouchy, to heartwarming to name-calling. And sometimes there are some real head-scratchers. So here, as we start a new year of You Said It, are the not-ready-for-prime-time submissions from 2016:

Attention lutefisk lovers. Safeway on Horizon Drive has lutefisk. Merry Christmas to all.

Tom Brokaw called those who grew up in the 1930s the Greatest Generation! How was schooling different then? High school seniors drove the school buses, and we went to school even if it was minus-40 degrees. Boys of all ages carried knives. Little boys plumbed mumblety-peg, little girls played jacks. We memorized the times tables through 12 times 12 in the second grade. The rubber hose in the principal’s office wasn’t a figment of imagination. It was all right to have prayer at special occasions. The school year started the day after Labor Day. The most used lunch pail was a five-pound lard pail. We learned to write by the Palmer Method. How did we ever become the Greatest Generation?

 

Thanks to Rep. Willett for his bill to allow hunters to wear pink. For years I’ve avoided hunting because the fluorescent orange makes me look fat and clashes with my hair color.

 

Teenagers and other people, please use deodorant and bathe regularly. You stink.

 

Well, Grand Junctionites, the end of an era has come due to the folks at Grand Junctions Parks and Rec. There will be no more awesome great chili for everyone to sample. It is now called the Mac and Cheese something. It might just as well be called the Milk and Cookies festival. Call and express your concerns to them.

 

I just read your You Said It. Sorry, I am tired of people telling me that someone paid their bill for lunch or dinner. I know they appreciate it, but I don’t care. Thanks.

 

I’d like to see anyone “slide down a rain barrel.” The words to the old song are “look down my rain barrel, slide down my cellar door.” I’m old enough to have done both, and they were fun.

 

Brooke Ashley Marie Crier is the most amazing, beautiful woman in existence. She is the 20 out of 10. Inside and out she is a wonderful woman.

 

I must say all those men on the news look very well dressed all the time. What is up with the women? They show so much skin, don’t dress well at all, hair a mess. Don’t know where Grand Junction finds some of them, they can’t talk right or dress right to be on TV. Have to turn to another station. You wound think they are advertising necklaces sometimes. Please try and look a little better, ladies, for TV.

 

City Market: My debit card and credit card haven’t worked for a long time. Could you do something? Why is it taking so long? Hundred, maybe thousands, are unhappy.

 

Dear Olathe Sweet Corn Festival: buttery flavor Pan Whiz?! Seriously? How much did you save by using flavored cooking oil vs. real butter? I hope it was enough to make up for me never going back. Thanks for stealing my ten bucks. P.S. You might want to invest in a sign or two for the side of the road to let people know you are having a corn festival.

 

The same mechanism that makes the oxygen masks deploy when airplanes are in jeopardy needs to also automatically lock the luggage bins! Oh, and trigger flashing red letters reading “Get off the plane!”

 

I know that there is some morphing in product sizes: 6 ounces of tuna with oil to 5 ounces with water; 16 ounces of coffee to 13 ounces; one quarter (32 ounces) Miracle Whip salad dressing to 30 ounces; but just when did a 12 ounce bottle of beer (particularly some foreign brands) suddenly shrink to 11.2 ounces? Beer drinkers, rise up against this free market tyranny.

 

Disgusting. All those open-mouthed, gum-chewing people behind Trump on TV! Such poor behavior.

 

Received a very nice email yesterday for administrative assistant’s day thanking for hard work and good job, making bosses jobs easier and making them look good. Well, thank you back so much for that email, so glad all us workers can make you look good so you can get the $10,000- $20,000-, $30,000-a-year raise while we haven’t had any in eight years. Your email means so much, really helps me support my family. Enjoy your corruption, you don’t fool anyone.


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