You Said It, Dec. 29, 2013

Editor’s note: Throughout the year the You Said It editor gets submissions that run the gamut from funny to grouchy, to heartwarming to name-calling. And sometimes there are some real head-scratchers. So here, as we start a new year of You Said It, are the not-ready-for-prime-time submissions from 2013:

I must say, all the articles focused on drought in Colorado are just a lack of belief. When you believe something it usually becomes reality. I believe snow will fall gently and consistently so our beautiful rivers, streams and waterfalls are abundantly flowing, and reservoirs are full of water. Keep on believing in snow and do it for all of Colorado. Believe!

 

I was so sad to hear about Andre Cassagnes’ death, the inventor of Etch-A-Sketch. When I was a young child in the 1960s it was one of my favorite toys. I was no artist but I would have hours of fun pretending I was. I had a thought about Andre’s funeral, which I assume is somewhere in France. Right before they lower his casket in the ground they should turn it upside-down and shake it! You fellow Etch-A-Sketch lovers will know what I mean. If you don’t, go out and buy one and have some fun!

 

Top 5 uses for a Sherwood Park doggie waste baggie: 5. Shower cap for your cat. 4. Perfect size for liquids at TSA inspection. 3. Hand puppets. 2. Body bags for pet hamster or goldfish. 1. Put the relatives’ Thanksgiving leftovers in.

I was in the Chevy dealer’s showroom admiring the new Corvette convertible and when I asked the salesperson the price, he said “it’s been taken care of” and motioned to the pretty blond lady smiling. She left before I could thank her. It just shows there are still good people around in this cold society.

 

To the aspiring young artist doing snow writing on a frozen Connected Lake: Nice try, but I looked it up and there’s no such school as Florida University College of Kinesiology.

 

Please don’t cut a cow’s tail off; that is mean. I have done a lot of hand-milking and if she keeps swatting me with her tail, I put her tail in my teeth while I finish milking. Try it. It works. Do not bite down hard. If you do, you will never do that again.

 

Just wondering why it’s OK for the very colorful singing clown to harass everyone in Delta.

 

Channel 8 — Spencer Washburn — it’s a delight to hear you sing and give news. Nice young man and sure can sing. No, I’m not related to him. Keep up the good work.

 

To the family that found my little white dog named Bubba on Friday night after the ball game, thank you very much. You probably saved a life. He is not too bright. I fixed a small hole in the fence and we had a long talk about taking himself for a nighttime walk. I hope it wasn’t too big of an inconvenience. Thanks again.

I would hope that everyone in Clifton would have pride and clean up their private property. Why do we need to be forced to do what should happen automatically? Two steps to a neat little village: 1. I would say 45 days for each house to get ride of trash and weeds. 2. Purchase a herd of goats and a herder with a dog to clean up open areas. If San Francisco International can do it, why not Clifton?

 

Just because you are homeless doesn’t mean you have to be stupid. Why are you treating your dog as a packhorse — in the heat, no less? That is inhumane and unacceptable! We do no treat our family members that way. How dare you? Well, the day will come when the animals inherit the earth. And you, my friend, will be a packhorse.

 

Stop buying meals for people you don’t know and donate that money to places with true need. My cheapskate ex-husband was a recent beneficiary of someone’s generosity and he paid it forward by going golfing instead of time planned with his kids.

 

Why not wear jeans? Just because my hair has turned white?

 

People, please wake up and realize you’re saying “and I’m like ...” in every sentence! Who started that, Southern California valley girls? Please, Lord, make it stop.


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