Fodder for the blotter: Kobi Parker has fun at Palisade Police Department
Kobi Parker provides personality to Palisade Police Department
“It was a cold but beautiful day in Palisade.”
— Palisade police blotter, Jan. 1, 2013
“A female reported that a male friend was suicidal. The male was watching football and said that he was not suicidal.”
—Palisade police blotter, Jan. 2, 2013
Kobi Parker’s work space reflects her personality: Quirkiness fit for small-town police life.
Parker, a records manager who fills other roles for the Palisade Police Department, keeps an empty kids-sized, Happy Meal french fry container from McDonald’s on her shelf next to an assortment of collectible characters from the “Super Mario” video game series.
A self-described “Nintendo freak,” Parker, 40, likes things that are little. Like Palisade.
“You to have a personality if you work in a small town because the community is kind of in your face, for lack of a better way of putting it,” Parker said. “People want you to remember who they are.”
To the Palisade Police Department, Parker is a little bit of everything. Aside from managing the department’s records, every morning she checks national and state computer databases for information patrol officers might need before their morning shifts. When she’s not registering sex offenders, you might find her working as clerk for Palisade’s municipal court.
“We’re certainly not the busiest agency in the Grand Valley, but when you throw everything at once at a person they have to learn a lot,” said Interim Palisade Police Chief Mike Nordine. “She performs a little bit of everything and is one heck of an asset for this organization.”
Toward the end of the work week, she sits down to type out her favorite part of the job: The colorful Palisade police blotter.
“I have to be a little more open-minded because we don’t have that much to write about around here,” she said. “There are days when I just absolutely have nothing to write.”
Parker makes a point to highlight Palisade’s rich and generous stew of offbeat, oddball happenings.
“I get tired of all the negative,” she said. “And sometimes human nature is just funny.”
“A wife reported her husband missing. Officer found the husband at church.” — Palisade police blotter, Dec. 15, 2012
“Officer responded to 208 W. 8th St. on a 911 hang-up. Investigation revealed two girls were trying to call home from a pay phone and didn’t know how to use one.” — Palisade police blotter, Jan. 11, 2013
On a given day, Parker finds herself in the role of animal control receptionist or public information officer. Officers in January was sent out to handle a report of a baby goat which strayed and turned up on someone’s back porch.
“I had one gentlemen call and ask if the Packing Shed was going to be open for Memorial Day,” Parker said with her trademark, booming giggle. “Why would I know that?”
Parker’s blotter is packed with similar small-town flavor.
“I want people to be able to have a smile,” she said. “My goal in life is to make everyone happy on a daily basis. I can’t ask more of myself than that.”
So far, feedback from the community has been positive about her blotter, she said.
“My officers are really good about getting me the information, and a lot of the time I just write exactly what they write,” she said. “There are times I have to walk a fine line because 50 people may think it’s funny, but if one person finds it disrespectful, we’re in trouble.”
“There was investigation of a suspicious vehicle parked at the Palisade Superstop. Subjects in vehicle were broken down and sleeping in vehicle until Ace Hardware opened to get some bolts.” — Palisade police blotter, Jan. 19, 2013.
“It was a quiet day. Everybody must have been enjoying the slightly warmer weather.” — Palisade police blotter, Jan. 20, 2013.
Parker said she has no ambition to be a police officer.
“What they do is hard,” she said. “There may not be a whole lot of crime here, but they risk their life every day. I respect that and I’m here to support them.”
She took the job in January 2012. Prior to that, Parker and her husband of 13 years, Patrick, worked as instructors for a concealed carry firearms class. She worked in retail, including Hollywood Video and Hastings on North Avenue.
She met her husband 17 years ago in Grand Junction at a trap shooting event. They still live in the city but have pondered moving to the town she’s come to love.
“I’ve already told them (police) they’re stuck with me,” she said. “I’m retiring from here.”