Once I settled on the headline, I briefly thought about trying to write this Test Drive in screenplay format, but then I’d have to try to add romance and more action than the good folks at Ed Bozarth Mark Miller Chevrolet Buick might be comfortable with. It wasn’t that kind of drive, because, frankly, the Suburban rode like a much smaller, much more refined car that just happened to have truck-level towing capacity.
Have you had moments of, well, I’m going to say it, syzygy? It’s a fancy way of saying connectedness, especially on a fundamental way, like when planets are in conjunction or opposition, or implying a deep pairing.
In surface ways, I suppose, the 2020 Chevy Suburban and I are different. I tend to prefer more efficient, smaller cars in my personal life, I can only wish I had the means to pay for this luxury-drenched SUV, and, well, I’m a human and it’s a half-ton SUV with 6.2 liter gasoline ECOTEC3 engine. My highway speeds are, well, let’s just say I’d rather stay home.
But there was a moment, when I was looking around the cabin. The...very nice cabin that was appointed in mahogany leather seating, with a flip-down entertainment screen (for rear passengers), adjustable seating in three-rows (including second-row captain’s chairs) and push-button convenience everywhere. One moment when I was just about done poking around in the storage compartments with separated bins, and taking pictures of the wireless charging pad (that was big enough for my late-model smartphone, provided I removed the case), and I felt the urge to look upwards.
There, on the panel that controlled the powered sunroof was that moment of syzygy (and yes, I’ve ALWAYS wanted to use that word in a sentence, ever since I discovered it).
There, next to the universal home remote, was a dial. The dial controls the powered rear liftgate. Specifically it controls how high it lifts.
You see, what connects me and this giant of an SUV, is the need to duck.
Suburbans, especially the half-ton models, are big SUVs. At 6’10” (and being nearly that height since before high school), I’ve really only learned one thing from my hair to my bones: duck. I duck going through 10-foot doors (have you ever hit a door closer, ceiling fan, garage door opener or light bulb? I have). I duck at the slightest chance I might hit something, because I’ve dragged down dance streamers, Christmas lights, model aiplanes, light fixtures and more.
Like me, the Suburban I drove was polite, with a powered tailgate and rear seats for cargo storage. But to avoid the scratches that I’ve received, the bits of hair (or paint, in the Suburban’s case) I’ve left on ceilings or tangled in the filaments and broken glass of exposed bulbs, the Suburban lets you control how high the tailgate lifts in your garage or under your trees.
Take it from me. Learn when to use that switch. Let the Suburban be attractive, smooth-riding and luxurious, but please watch its headroom. Check out the 2020 Chevrolet Suburban now at Ed Bozarth Mark Miller Chevrolet Buick.
And no, it doesn’t play basketball either. You know, a lot of writers and SUVs are very tall.
(One more time: syzygy.)